eatthefrostingfirst

Although I am an open book about most things, one I dont usually touch upon with many is the difficulties of oldest son's eating issues. I dont discuss much because usually it eats away my insides. It's a thorn in all of our sides. Truth be told is I never thought I would be at this chapter. That my son would be 8 and he would still have a feeding tube. That my son would still be dependent on a tube to get most of his nutrition. For so long I would just ignore the issue. He was fighting to breathe and stay alive He was working on talking better and improving his speech so feeding came secondary. He had a tube, after all, which was helping him grow so "everyone" said not to stress too much. He was 3 and not talking so that came first. But in my heart, I knew I missed a big window. Its like anything, if you miss opportunity knocking at your door, it isnt bound to return. So my oldest is 8 with a feeding tube. And I blame myself for a lot. I blame myself

It's a sunny Sunday morning Not unlike the weather 10 years ago The sky is blue Not unlike it was 10 years ago Im watching the TV. Glued Just as I was 10 years ago Yet this time, we are remembering. We are hearing stories about children who are now 10 yrs old who have grown up; not knowing one of their parents. We are hearing spouses and parents talk about their lost partner or child; and how every day they carry them in their hearts We are a different country now. We take off our shoes to get thru Airport Security We look twice, or three times, at someone next to us on a plane, wondering if we are safe. We are less trusting We are more united My boys are 6 and 8 and do not know about what this date signifies. I decided they are a bit too young for me to have this discussion so I am keeping them from the news a bit. I want them to feel safe when they walk outside When they visit their grandparents in New York City When they get on a plane I want to keep th

Sept 8th and Im in "long and long" Somethings not right Self diagnosed my foot pain which got confirmed by podiatrist. Who needs physicians when there's WEB MD Still complaining of my 5 lbs that I want to lose. Summer diet consisting of French Fries somehow didnt help Had to get a 2012 calendar for my planner. I live my years September- September since the kids entered school. PTO meetings, class pictures, curriculum night, all needed to look back and look ahead. Im thinking Im onto something. Calendars for Moms of school aged kids. Boys in school for 3 days now. Life is really quiet and joyous..until 245. And its as if they never left