eatthefrostingfirst

Dear Husband decided it was time to take our VCR tapes (what's a VCR my youngest asks?) and put them onto DVD. Im sure in a few years we will be putting it onto some other kind of initial thingamajig but for now, DVD it is. So as he plays videos I sit on the couch in the dark watching my oldest son come to life as a baby. A baby with breathing apparatus in his trachea with ties around his neck to keep it attached. Instantly im brought back to changing those damned trach ties. Cleaning his trachea to keep it clean from infection, carrying ventilators and oxygen tanks up and down the stairs. I watch the screen as my oldest boy belly laughs over me making a funny duck sound. He is clearly entertained by his mothers antics but we cannot hear his laughter. It doesnt matter to me now but it broke my heart then. I didnt hear his little voice until he was 19 months old. He clapped for Mommy in the video. He crawled over to my Mother in Law who was playing peek a boo with him. He t