eatthefrostingfirst

For real..this isn't a Harry Met Sally scene when she says she is turning 40 but it's really something like 8 years away. No, I'm really turning. This year. Next month to be exact. I must have mentioned to my dear husband at least half a dozen times that if we weren't somewhere tropical for my birthday, without my children, that there could be a divorce in his future. So, we are off to the Atlantis in the Bahamas (smart man) Im counting the hours actually until I get to enjoy some r and r without having to cart oldest to therapy or to break up a fight between who's turn it is to play with the Diego rescue pack that we just purchased. I'm looking forward to closing my eyes on the beach with some kind of drink with an umbrella in it and reading a grown up adult book even if it may be considered a beach read and not bookclub material. Im really looking forward to sitting down at a restaurant and ordering something off a menu that doesnt end with the word nugget or

After 4 1/2 years, we buried Zachary this past weekend. Okay, let me back up.. when Zachary passed away we had him cremated. Dear Husband and I never really knew what to do with his ashes so they remained in my bedroom closet. We contemplated different ideas, places, but nothing ever seemed appropriate and we didn't want to scatter the ashes just for the sake of it. So, we waited. Until this past weekend. We had finally decided to bury him at Sharon Memorial Cemetery. Sadly enough, there's a section there primarily for babies so we bought a plaque and laid him to rest there. With the other babies. After so long, the pain has been distant and it is not so hard for me to deal with on a daily basis. I really thought I would be strong. I would be okay. I wasn't. It was so hard. Maybe one of the hardest things I have yet to do. We picked out a plaque. We chose the style. We held his ashes in a box in our hands and placed him into the earth. Forever. Our baby is gone. I knew