After 4 1/2 years, we buried Zachary this past weekend. Okay, let me back up..
when Zachary passed away we had him cremated. Dear Husband and I never really knew what to do with his ashes so they remained in my bedroom closet. We contemplated different ideas, places, but nothing ever seemed appropriate and we didn't want to scatter the ashes just for the sake of it. So, we waited. Until this past weekend.
We had finally decided to bury him at Sharon Memorial Cemetery. Sadly enough, there's a section there primarily for babies so we bought a plaque and laid him to rest there. With the other babies. After so long, the pain has been distant and it is not so hard for me to deal with on a daily basis. I really thought I would be strong. I would be okay. I wasn't. It was so hard. Maybe one of the hardest things I have yet to do. We picked out a plaque. We chose the style. We held his ashes in a box in our hands and placed him into the earth. Forever. Our baby is gone. I knew this. I did. It's not like it wasnt a reality for me. But this, this was so final....so final.
We decided to have a place that we could visit him. We wanted a place so that when oldest was old enough to understand that he had a twin brother, he, too, could go visit, if he chose to. A place on the anniversary of Zachary's death (which in a sad but thankful way is not the day of oldest's birthday but the following day), a place that we can visit every August 8th.
Goodbye Zachary.
Goodbye my first born son.
You are never forgotten.
And you are always loved.
when Zachary passed away we had him cremated. Dear Husband and I never really knew what to do with his ashes so they remained in my bedroom closet. We contemplated different ideas, places, but nothing ever seemed appropriate and we didn't want to scatter the ashes just for the sake of it. So, we waited. Until this past weekend.
We had finally decided to bury him at Sharon Memorial Cemetery. Sadly enough, there's a section there primarily for babies so we bought a plaque and laid him to rest there. With the other babies. After so long, the pain has been distant and it is not so hard for me to deal with on a daily basis. I really thought I would be strong. I would be okay. I wasn't. It was so hard. Maybe one of the hardest things I have yet to do. We picked out a plaque. We chose the style. We held his ashes in a box in our hands and placed him into the earth. Forever. Our baby is gone. I knew this. I did. It's not like it wasnt a reality for me. But this, this was so final....so final.
We decided to have a place that we could visit him. We wanted a place so that when oldest was old enough to understand that he had a twin brother, he, too, could go visit, if he chose to. A place on the anniversary of Zachary's death (which in a sad but thankful way is not the day of oldest's birthday but the following day), a place that we can visit every August 8th.
Goodbye Zachary.
Goodbye my first born son.
You are never forgotten.
And you are always loved.
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