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Showing posts from June, 2010

Saturday Silliness

There's a reason that backwards, stressed spells dessert My scale can backup that reason I find myself thoroughly enjoying the Bethenny spinoff of Real Housewives of NYC Looking forward to post-op pain meds Am always amazed I have a kid who doesn't enjoy eating Am not amazed I have another kid who could eat sweets every two hours Realized I really love the fact that someone comes in to clean my house every 2-3 weeks. I hate scrubbing showers Laughed out loud, more than once, during Toy Story 3 I have amazing friends

Summers are becoming dreadful

Spent last August recovering from mastectomy Spending this July recovering from shoulder surgery which is needed because of mastectomy Apparently I formed scar tissue from surgery. Of course I did . Why should I sail through anything? I pretty much predicted this because I had arm and shoulder pain for months after surgery. Which I knew, wasn't that common. So I got a cortisone shot. And life was good. For a while. Then I ran into a tree branch (look back to post in April to review said tree branch incident) And my shoulder looked like something out of a horror movie. And wonderful orthopedist (seriously wonderful) wont give me a cortisone shot now because of horror movie looking shoulder. So were onto surgery. Because I've had pain for a year. And scar tissue caused bursitis and frozen shoulder. And PT is doing me no good. So, surgery. Not a big deal really. Arthroscopic and should be walking around the next day (although I begged him to send me to a tropical island for a nee

Going back in time

So if you could go back in time, would you? In many cases.. I would. A time when life was easier less problems less worries.. This past weekend I got to go back in time. To one of my favorite childhood (and adult) places Camp. 12 summers were spent at camp, in a small town; Hampstead NH. 1977-1989 (minus 1986 where I was too in love with my HS boyfriend to leave him for camp) It was our reunion and we got to spend the day there. Bunks seemed much smaller, as did the whole camp. I ran into people I hadn't seen in 20+ yrs, Some I reconnected with on facebook Some I've remained close with. Whoever it was, the day was perfect. It's hard to explain if you don't get the "camp" thing. I have many friends, including my own dear husband, who didn't have this experience so I understand it all seems a bit weird. But there's just something special about the camp connection. And not just for me For most who were there this past Saturday We all said the same thin

What doesn't kill us..

does not make us stronger it makes us in need of a stiff drink and a long nap or in need of an hour long cry it makes us want to curl up in the fetal position for hours on end sometimes or isolate ourselves from the rest of the world. It makes us want to stay in bed It makes us want to not talk or talk till our heart cant take it anymore. But let me tell you, it does not make us stronger. I know this because there is so much crap that I've dealt with in my adult life that there are times I've done one or all of the above at a single time. Am I strong? I never thought I was. But maybe I am. Because I've survived a lot of crap And here I am Breathing, living, blogging... But am I stronger because of it all? Because of all the crap that "didn't kill me"? Not so sure. I know my marriage is stronger I know I see things much differently than I did before losing my infant son I appreciate more than I did before Breast Cancer I appreciate the time I had with my Dad; a

Father's Day

As my first Father's Day approaches without my Dad, I'm feeling a bit down. The weeks since his death have been busy with a trip to Disney and end of school year activiites for the boys. Time has wound down though and Father's Day is Sunday. I will be spending the wkend with BFF who is flying in for our summer camp reunion. I will be reminiscing and strolling down memory lane with many good friends the Saturday prior. But Sunday Father's Day It's going to be tough. Usually we had a bbq. Dear husband grilled dinner and my parents came over to hang out with the boys. Always low keyed. This year we will do the same. But my dad's presence will be missed. I also celebrate dear husband. Father of my boys The one who lets me sleep whenever I want, takes the kids to the park so I can get some alone time, helps with things like cleaning the dishes (without being asked), makes my kids laugh, loves unconditionally. So I celebrate Father's Day this year with a very heav

Friday Facts

I swear I haven't had a good night sleep since the year 2000 My baby graduated from pre-school today. I was more emotional than I expected to be Oldest needs a second set of ear tubes. Youngest had two sets, why shouldn't he? Are there seriously kids who haven't gone under anaesthesia by the age of 5? I cant comprehend that world I miss my Sundays that consisted of nap time and Lifetime movies I dont know how I survived before my iphone I try to branch out but I'm still a lover of 80's music Cupcakes solve all problems

How I know I need a break

1) You eat a handful of teddy grahams and half a piece of string cheese for lunch (with a diet coke of course) 2) You're talking to your adult friends about pooping in toilets 3)You're telling other people's kids to use "inside voices" 4)You're yelling at the cat 5) You resort to Sponge Bob as an alternate babysitter 6) You're perfume scent is scrubbing bubbles (lemon) 7)You're dreading summer vacation 8)You find that going to the market, alone, is actually an enjoyable outing 9)You run out the door the second your husband gets home from work- only to go to previously mentioned market 10) You're in bed, asleep by 9PM

June 8th

2009 "Hi Abby. Are the kids in bed? Is your husband there with you? Do you have time to talk?" It was my doctor. Calling with the news. "Its Breast Cancer but I want you to listen to me, you'll be fine. You're going to be fine" I dont remember much after that. I cried for a while. She kept talking to explain things to me. Threw out terms like DCIS, breastcancer.org, possible mastectomy. Then I went to throw up. I called my parents. My Dad cried. My Mom; strong as usual, told me I'd be okay. And I was. And I am. It's behind me. Or as someone said to me, is it ever really behind you?

My preschool bubble

In two weeks youngest graduates preschool. Although I do find it totally surreal that I have two kids old enough to be in Elementary school I'm not really sad about him leaving preschool. I'm sad about ME leaving preschool. For the past two years (four if you include oldest being there) I have been in a comfortable little bubble. I know most of the moms (and some Dad's) from seeing them at pick up and drop off. We swap quick weekend stories, a funny blurb about how we cant believe what our child did the other day and exchange an occasional shopping tip or recipe. We arrive at 845AM in baseball hats and work out clothes; knowing we will not be judged by our unshowered look. We vow to catch up at pick up. The past year (plus) I look forward to my pick up time. I arrive minutes early (especially in the Spring) so I can sun outside and catch up on girl talk with a few close friends. Our boys brought us together but the friendship--that was our doing! We each agree that the sec

I'm getting old

How I know I'm getting old: Watched Justin Bieber on the TODAY SHOW this morning. Kid is 16 Looks 10 Gotta give props to Kate Gosselin who looks pretty damned good for going through a divorce and birthing 8 children. Youngest asked me to play Disney Monopoly with him. Why does one game of Monopoly take over two hours to play? Thankfully Mommy has a crappy back and cant sit on the floor longer than 30 minutes without needing a good stretch. My Friday nights used to consist of going out at 10PM with my college roommates. It now consists of me curling up with PEOPLE magazine and falling asleep in the middle of a CSI repeat. PT for my shoulder has brought out more aches and pains in my neck, other shoulder and back. 42 so far has brought me: worsening eyesight sore muscles earlier bedtimes me saying "oy" a lot and 5 lbs that I still cannot shed. Whoever said 40 is the new 30 hasn't met my body

The Box

I needed to find oldest's "yearbook" from last year. I knew where it was. In the basement. In THE BOX. The box is filled with oldest's and youngest's stuff. Baby clothes Emails from when I was pregnant in the hospital Emails updating friends on oldest's medical status Art Projects Birthday Cards Zachary's baby blanket I knew that reaching into the box would stir up many memories. I was prepared. Or so I thought. I ran my fingers over Zachary's baby blanket that was provided to him by the NICU. I smelled it; trying to breathe in a scent even though I knew there wouldn't be one. I came across my oldest's first birthday book. It was filled with letters from family, friends, dear husband and myself. There were notes from his old NICU nurses calling him a miracle. (Which of course he is.) Youngest's book; albeit less filled, also had letters. I commented about his independence and his desire to be the center of attention. Funny how nothing has

OH HAPPY DAY!

For those following the pooping saga you will be elated to know that we have had success!! My four year old finally pooped on a toilet before he entered Kindergarten. Before he turned five. Before I drank an entire bottle of wine and a pint of ben and jerry's in one sitting. SUCCESS! I made a huge stink (sorry, couldn't resist the pun) Did a happy dance Ran out to buy him a toy Called the grandparents Emailed the poopy doctor (told us to take us off the wait list for toileting school) Called Dear Husband Youngest was proud of himself but naturally, there were rules around his success. Rule #1- He would not discuss it with anyone. Grandparents would know but I had to tell them. He did not want to hear them yelling "yay" Rule #2) He would poop in the toilet only if I was outside of the bathroom. The door must be closed and I couldn't even take a peak. Rule #3) I could not throw away the potty seat that goes onto the toilet because he fell in once and isn't sure