eatthefrostingfirst

I am officially cancer free. But I say that hesitantly while holding my breath- refusing to exhale. Because once you have cancer you kind of feel you're just waiting for the next scan to declare you're "free" but you're only "free" until your next scan. Do you see my point? Hamster-spinny wheel. Same thing. So yes. My last scan was clean (as we say in the cancer world) And my oncologist only wants to see my yearly (What? Are you sure, I ask, kind of pleading) I saw a bunch of old friends this week and was asked how I'm doing. This group is the best of the best. Even if I dont think of them as my best friends- we are a really large clique (without being cliquey) We are a group who all have a common thread. Summer camp. And whether you were a bunkmate, a former camper, a former counselor or just someone we randomly met 10 years later who went to OUR same camp, we are bonded. For life. So when these friends asked me how I'm doi

My dog decides sitting in the midst of the camp packing mess would be a good spot to lie down. Smack in the middle of the giant squirt gun and the 6 pairs of unlabeled socks. (Because some genius needs to come up with a better way to label socks than using a sharpie on the sole of the foot that wares off within a day because of sweaty yucky feet) The important stuff is all checked off : Underbed box, extra storage box, required summer reading book, color war paraphernalia, two flashlights, case of bottled water,  extra money for the overnight trip that he is now old enough to go on,  and of course...gum. We are at the 24 hours and counting stage. Youngest went for his yearly buzz cut,  his "last ice cream", "last McDonalds", "last Dunkin Donuts", and the "last dinner out" will be tonight. (The kid is gone for 7 weeks so we kind of give in to his milking it phase.) We are pros by now. We know what time to leave in the AM (not paying

"Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help. and brave enough to ask for it" I searched for a quote that I wanted to use on social media next to youngest's graduation pic from 8th grade. Turns out I love this quote so much that when I looked back at oldest's graduation pic, I used the same quote. Who knew? Now graduating from middle school is a thing so of course I needed a quote! You know what happened when I graduated from middle school? Nothing. I came home on the bus. I don't even think we had a half day. (Remember when half days were actually half days and not dismissal at 10AM?) Middle school was Junior High back then and I can assure you my parents were not taking the day off to watch me get a diploma. We went from one school to the next without a batting of an eyelash. And there was no facebook to allow my Mom to post my adorable first day of Kindergarten picture. Because I dont even think I have a first da

Remember the day when you and your partner were desperate for a vacation but the idea of bringing your toddlers on a plane was just too overwhelming to even think about? The packing, diapers, snacks, toys, books, sippy cups.. And then how would you all sleep in one hotel room ? Would we all need to go to bed at 7pm? Would we disrupt their sleep schedule and keep them up until 10? (I remember my friend put the pack n play in the closet so that the baby could sleep away from the sound of the TV) (Do not call the authorities. The baby is now a teenager and she left the closet door open) Somehow we got through the years. We either; went on vacation (and somehow survived to tell about it) or we didn't (and regret it) (or not) My boys are now teens and traveling is a hell of a lot easier. They pack their own bags (kind of) (I mean, I pack but they do their own carry on which consist of an electronic device, headphone and charger. And a back up battery charger) (And cand

The camp list is out. Needs:  new shoe bag (to hold everything but shoes) New bath mat (not to use in the bathroom but by the foot of the bed so as not to touch the floor when awaking) Green and yellow paraphernalia for color war And the essentials: gum and a fan. This is year six for youngest at overnight camp. He will be going into the oldest age group this summer which; for him, means waiting on tables. (Back in the day, I tell him, (which is crazy I start a sentence with "back in the day") you didn't wait on tables until you were  a C. I. T. ) So much has changed Yet so little. 8 week sessions are now 7 weeks. Hard trunks with gold metal locks which were stored under the infirmary are now soft massive duffel bags stored under the health center (Same place. Different name) (Same smell) Kids were called "daily druggies" who needed their daily meds. I'm thinking that doesn't fly anymore. The mess hall is now the dining hall. Wit

I will start with the fact that my Mom is okay. Leading up to how we get there has been a comedy of errors. My Mom told me yesterday AM her mouth felt funny. The beauty of her living in a facility with medical staff is that they hop on those things like white on rice. Within minutes I was called and she went to the ER to rule out a stroke (remember first sentence. This story ends fine) They told me she will be going to a suburban hospital so I get dressed and head there. My mom has an aid escorting her in the ambulance and I find it hard to believe I'm at the ER before them. Aid, who I will call the Marvelous Ms. M, texts me saying they are in the ambulance. 10 minutes pass and the ER still has no record of my Mom being there. Marvelous  tells me they are definitely in a triage room in the ER. You see where this is going. I confirm hospital with Ms M and  within seconds the paramedic takes over her phone. "Hi. This is the EMT. Your Mom is stable. We had to div

It really doesn't matter how long you have been a "survivor". Cancer is cancer. 20 years ago. 5 years ago. Last week. You walked in the damn shoes and you fear ... you always fear. So when it's time to see the oncologist or have a scan- you fear. Ironically, National Cancer Survivors Day falls 24 hours before my mammogram. Checking in at the desk I begin to feel my heart beat a bit faster. I'm sure I'm fine. But once upon a time, I thought I was also fine. Until I wasn't fine. And then I wasn't fine again. So I kind of earned the right to live in a bit of fear and worry bout not being fine. It's how I rationalize the heart beating faster. Take a seat til they call your name. Yea thanks hon*, I know the drill. (*Names have been changed to protect the innocent but she called me hon so I'm "hon'ing her right back) After barely getting to play 3 minutes of Candy Crush I am called back to change into the dreaded robe

I was lucky enough to escape for a few days with DH. No kids. I know. Totally lucky. We went to Key West and really did nothing for 3 days. Except for the trip down from hell (note: never ever fly Silver Airways), it was all heavenly. (My trip down on Silver is a blog in iteself. Let's just say we made a lot of friends bonding over our 4 hour delay and I'm pretty sure Gene Simmons twin brother was on our plane) Things I learned while away: I will never be a size 4 in a bikini. Some days I'm okay with this and other days I cry about how fat my arms look in a picture outside Captain Tony's bar. Seaweed smells. There are some killer sunsets out there that we don't get to witness in Boston. Frozen towels handed to you by a pool in 90 degree weather is pure heaven. Literally frozen. Genius. I really don't love key lime. Airport bathrooms need to change their stalls so that doors open outwards. Carrying luggage into a bathroom with doors that op