eatthefrostingfirst

 Goodbye 2020. I feel pretty confident in saying no one will really miss you.  I know I wont. I lost my dog and my Mom in 2020. I lost my patience, sanity, ability to see 20 feet in front of me without glasses, freedom to hug my friends and my right to take 3 hours in Target if I want. Our kids lost out on senior years, freshman years, sports, theatre, band, lunch in cafeterias and the ability to walk around aimlessly during free periods.  And no one could get off the phone by saying "I gotta go" because where the hell were we going? Yes. I'm pretty confident no one will be longing for 2020 in years to come. OR WILL WE? Will we be missing out on the having all the time in the world to watch movies with our kids and catch up with people on the phone (or zoom)?  I mean, our basements, attics, playrooms and pantry closets have never looked cleaner. We have baked, cooked, crafted, knitted, walked, meditated and have made Peloton a household name.  We have had more wine, more

I typed my college applications on a typewriter. I used white out if I screwed up. I barely had any extra curricular activities and if I did, they were not application worthy. I was not athletic, artistic, musical or a great student. I did shitty on my SAT's. Yet; I got into colleges. Plural. None were my first choice but; I got in. I did know what I wanted to major in at the age of 17, however, I changed that a year into school. I survived all this and lived to blog about it. I have a sophomore and a junior in HS. Oldest is starting to explore schools and you know what I'm learning? We aren't in 1986 anymore. SAT vs ACT. Subject Tests. AP classes. Volunteering. Extra curricular activities (and not just one or two) Essays. And more essays. Excel. Excel. EXCEL. I hope you started your own non profit or invented something STEM like (another word we didn't use in the 80's.) (Or at least I didn't). (Although if I'm being honest, if it wasn't about talking on

Sat in the produce section for 5 minutes trying to open a plastic bag to put the broccoli in. Woman came up next to me, grabbed a plastic bag and just as I was about to crack a joke about how impossible it is to open these things- her apples are in the bag and she’s already moved on to onions. Embarrassed that I couldn’t open the bag, I figured it must be said bag; so I grabbed another. And guess what? It wasn’t said bag. It was my inability to open the bag. And this I blame on covid- obviously ! Because pre covid- I would lick my finger and put it on the bag to help open it. But I’m in a mask. And I’m not about to put my hands in my mouth before washing them (which when I think about it- it’s gross that I did this pre- covid but whatever. I survived ) So I take out my trusty spray hand sanitizer (thanks Trader Joe’s) and spray my hands and Voila! My hands are sticky enough to open the bag! Take that onion apple lady.

 Things I’m realizing.. I really want to lose weight but my desire to eat food overpowers this.  Sweet snacks are better frozen.  Especially nestles chocolate chips. Which may be the reason I can’t lose weight . 2020 has come full circle. I’m back to puzzles. And banana breads. And arranging the Tupperware drawer. (But not in one day because then I’d be out of things to do the following day. ) Has anyone tried the ketchup puzzle? Who knew coming up with a peloton name would be so stressful? My 65(plus) lb dog thinks she’s a lap dog.  I’m a bit over all this family bonding time.  I’m not feeling very auld lang syne like this year  But I’m all for taking the cup o’ kindness. Bring on 2022. Yea- that’s not a typo

 It’s a snow day. Not really. I mean, it’s snowing alright but my kids are in remote school. This has been a debate for 2020. Should schools have an actual snow day or a remote day so they can continue with school?  I have high schoolers so I vote for remote.  Not that they don’t deserve a morning to sleep in and have hot chocolate but they’re past the making snowmen and wanting to sled phase so a snow day to my highschoolers is just like a weekend day in 2020. Sleeping.  And doing nothing.  My town opted for a remote day.  I’m on board because ... anything that says “an earlier summer “ is ok in my book. So it’s 925AM and we already have 10 inches of snow.  Oldest knocked on my door to tell me he has a 2 hour break right now.  Let me tell you that school only goes until 1230 anyway. C block he has a free and B block his Chem teacher emailed and said he wouldn’t be online so he has a free.  Seriously?  Remote learning sucks. Where are you chem teacher?  I’ll give the guy a break.  Mayb

Dear Charlotte, Daniel, Rachel, Olivia, Josephine, Ana, Dylan, Dawn, Madeline, Catherine, Chase, Jesse, James, Grace, Anne Marie, Emilie, Jack, Noah, Caroline, Jessica, Avielle, Lauren, Mary, Victoria, Benjamin, and Allison, I picked up my children from elementary school on December 14, 2012. Parents were gathering around waiting for the bell to ring. There were tears in our eyes and fear in our hearts. We had all heard the news. Your town could’ve been our town. Your kids could’ve been our kids. We hugged. The bell rang. Our elementary aged children came pouring out of the building. Noise and laughter shortly filled the outside yard. Backpacks and artwork were being thrown into parents arms but all we wanted to do was scoop up our kids and envelope them into giant hugs. To nuzzle into their necks and to smell their hair. To feel their skin and wipe the juice box stains off of their mouths. Life was just another ordinary day to our kids. But it was not another ordinary day for us. W

 I'm thinking there are a few bright sides to this mask wearing. I cut down on makeup. Put on sunglasses and a hat and you can seriously become unrecognizable. You don't know if I have something stuck in my teeth. Hides any acne flare ups or dreaded chin hairs. I can mumble under my breath. You can cough into  your mask without needing to cover your mouth. The downside is no one can tell you're smiling at them. Which we all kind of need these days. Stay safe. Mask up. This isn't forever

 "It's not when; but who". My mother told me this on many occasions.  Lonely Saturday nights. When I was invited to weddings and didn't have a date.  My 30th birthday. It wasn't when you married, but who you married.  (I quoted my Mom at our wedding during my speech. I loved this advice so much) And it is here, on my upcoming 20th wedding anniversary, (December 2nd. Im a couple days early)  that I realize even more that what (or who) I thought I wanted in my 20's differed from what I wanted when I hit 30. (Really, 32) And 20 years later...this is who I got. I married a man who held my hand when we realized we needed to go through infertility treatments. For two years he couldn't stand the thought of needles so he would do the next best thing..  heat up a sock filled with rice in the microwave for me to heal my bruised stomach from all the injections that I had to do. (A trick I learned back in the day) I married the man who went to work all day, rushed hom

Things I think about at 2am I love chocolate with carmel but don’t like carmel flavored things I don’t like avocados but will eat guacamole. I’ve never had a cup of hot coffee and don’t drink iced coffee but love me some mocha chip. I make lists when I can’t sleep. I went thru the alphabet last night and named cities in Massachusetts - I was so annoyed with myself when I couldn’t think of a J. Jamaica Plain allowed me to rest easy. This is going to be the longest winter. Im reminding myself this isn’t forever. I remind myself of this after my 40th episode of Law and Order SVU and after I’ve had it with the hallmark channel Christmas movies and after my dog had her 6th bout of diarrhea and after I ate my third carmel blondie. Which is how at 2am I realized I love chocolate with carmel but not carmel things like ice cream. And this is how life becomes full circle and ends up in a blog post

This is what baffles me. When did your freedom to not wear a mask overcome your desire to help save lives? You’re not just saving another life- you are saving perhaps your own life. How can you not be on the same page as me? How can you be so selfish that you would rather make a point than worry about someone dying? I hope it’s not your parent that loses their life next. Or your child. Or your partner, best friend, former kindergarten teacher or the ER doctor down the street. Because that’s who is getting infected. And you better wake up because not only the elderly are dying. Not only the immunocompromised. Wake the hell up and stop making this political. Stop making this about your freedom and stop being so ignorant. We are better than this. This is not political. Our kids miss school. I miss your hugs. Please wake up.

   So clearly thanksgiving is a bit different this year . We aren’t doing the normal travel.  We aren’t needing to worry about who to sit at the kids table and I haven’t made 20 trips to the supermarket yet. It’s depressing as all hell.  I refuse to cave and am still making my thanksgiving meal- just for 4.  The issue is 3/4 don’t like the thanksgiving meal.  DH will tolerate it.  Oldest will eat sweet potatoes. Youngest will eat mashed potatoes and a bite of stuffing.  Everyone will eat dessert. So I’m making a 13 lb Turkey (the smallest I could find), stuffing, cranberry chutney (still doubling the recipe because I could eat this for weeks), two kinds of potatoes so each child has something to eat, and a chocolate cake (because it’s the only dessert all 4 of us will eat) This is only the second time in 52 years I won’t be with my brother on this holiday and the first time in 52 years I won’t have my Mom at my table.  I’m imagining some (most) of you are feeling the same kind of sadn

 Oldest is a junior and we are in the very early stages of talking about colleges.  Which means at 12:53 AM is the perfect time to worry about the following  Where will he go? Should he be closer to home? Will he make friends or be desperate to come home? Will he remember to brush his hair ?  I have to think there’s a fit for everyone. Small or large university. Transfer out or transfer in. Community college, gap year or no college at all. I have to believe he will end up somewhere and will somehow be ok.  I’m not a helicopter mom. I’m really not.  But oldest has some learning disabilities and is a quiet child with a heart of gold..and I worry. It’s true that 1AM his junior year in HS is not the time to worry but it’s how I roll.  And let’s remember that college acceptance is way different than back in my day (omg when did I become old ?) I was an average student at best and can assure you I was not stressing out about where I should volunteer or that i should join a club because colle

 We barely go anywhere. My kids are in school only 2 days/week ... so tell me why I feel like my laundry has tripled in size and feels like a family of 10?  While I’m on a rant, thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and this will be the first year without my Mom.  This is also only the second time in 52 years I won’t be spending it with my brother. (#covidsucks) So we will be celebrating as a family of 4 , in which only one us likes Thanksgiving food. (This would be me ) I refuse to cave and am making my usuals.  Leftovers are the best part anyways. And to finish off the complaints, we have an entire bag of Kit Kat’s that no one wants to eat because DH thought they had dark chocolate in them and I thought they had white chocolate in them and we didn’t get any trick or treaters (which we never do but you know the one year we don’t have candy we will get them) and neither of my kids are huge fans of Kit Kat’s. Why oh why didn’t I just buy the 100 grands?  (My fat ass thanks you for not buy

 I’ve reached covid fatigue. I’m guessing you have too. Who would’ve thunk that covid fatigue would even be a thing?  But here we are. 9 months after our banana breads and basement and attic clean outs we have officially lost all interest in any more puzzles and some of us may have completed the internet . I’m bored. And itchy (not literally ) I don’t want to cook dinners and I never thought I’d wish I could just browse a mall. I want this election to be over. I want covid to be over. I want hybrid school to be over . I want the bachelorette to be over . I am a control freak and living in this uncontrollable world is starting (started ) to wear on me . I am failing miserably at one day at a time and just read the sales at IHOP are down. The world is now officially going to hell in a hand basket . Cheer me up village.  What’s your good today?

 Hey younger self,  I want to tell you something that’s going to be hard for you to do for a while- I wish you could see that if you do it early on you’ll be so much happier but, unfortunately- it’s so hard to do as a teen- or young 20 year old ..  But here it is, My wise wisdom words; You do you.  That’s it. Be you. I know you feel you’re not as popular or as thin or as pretty.  You feel you’re not as smart or athletic (you’re not. You’re definitely not as athletic. Sorry my younger self that’s the truth)  but the rest- You are worthy.  You have strength and courage and kindness.  You will be okay even if you have to drop out of statistics in college and cried on your 30th birthday.  You’ll have some challenges as you get older but you’ll meet someone who you will spend your life with who will hold your hand through it all (so honestly stop seeing some of the jerks you’re seeing) and set yourself some higher standards.  Boyfriends aren’t everything and throw away the GUESS jeans with

   I often wonder what would happen if the garbage overflowed- would my boys end up actually emptying it?  I experimented. And for all you mothers you will not be shocked that the answer to this is; no. I have also realized that I hate thinking about what is for dinner, planning dinner, answering the question what is for dinner and lastly- cooking dinner.  My children are already better students than I ever was.  And I’m so proud of them for this.  Yet, I still feel the need to tell them that they will never use chemistry again in their entire life -unless they go into some kind of medical field.  Which is unlikely for either .  I am AMAZED that I have lived this long without a Dyson vacuum.  Game changer! I am in my “wish I was thinner, why aren’t I losing weight? Eat a blondie don’t give a shit life is short “phase which basically is like groundhogs day because it’s my phase every day. Speaking of Blondies please follow my new business @batterup blondies on Instagram and/or Facebook

  We are all in love with our 8 month old Bernedoodle;  Skylar.  She seriously is very smart and cute as can be but she doesn’t know how to sleep late.  So we now ignore her. 457AM I hear the clicking of her paw nails against the hardwood floor in our bedroom and I know what comes next.  Her wet nose nudging me. Ignore. Ignore. But then her front paws come into the bed.  “Down” I say in my loud whisper.  She obeys. Do not pet the cute dog. I roll over facing away from her. She is no dummy and makes her way over to the other side of the bed, nudging DH. Ignore.  We remain like statues.  One false move and it’s all over . I have serious heartburn and I’m desperate need of TUMS.  Plus I need to pee. I mentally will DH to get up. I can tell he’s getting restless.  The man falls asleep within 2 minutes but once he is up in the mornings- he is up.  Unlike me. Who, even if I was up, could happily lie in bed all day long.  This is like a chess game. All About strategy. Ignore. Ignore. Paw nail

It’s pinktober. If you ask a breast cancer survivor, most will say every day is pinktober. Because breast cancer is never far from our mind. Once you join the sisterhood (not to be exclusive because there are men who get breast cancer ), it becomes a part of who you are. Does it define you? Maybe. Does it give you a different perspective on life? Most usually. Does it scare you of returning? Yup. I don’t live my life in fear  (that is sometimes a lie) but I would be totally lying if I said I don’t panic more than usual. I’ve gone through this crappy disease twice. I say the first time I got off “easy” and by “easy” I mean “ONLY” a mastectomy with implant reconstruction. And by only I mean 3 drains, 2 nights inpatient, 3 cosmetic revisions, and physical therapy bc I ended up getting a frozen shoulder. (And  then shoulder surgery to boot) I spent 5 years on tamoxifen (resulting in more womanly surgeries due to some side effects) and reached the 5 year “woot woot”‘ mark which "means&

Most people I know are feeling pretty frustrated these days. And rightfully so. Especially after this week. I feel like we could be sitting on the White House steps with our tongues sticking out saying “told ya so . TOLD YA SO!” Do I wish people Ill will? Not usually. Do I feel you reap what you sow? Pretty much. So now we are surging. WBecause the leader of our country showed the non believers that there was no reason to wear a o because this is why we are in the state we are in. Like you- I want our lives back. It seems the only way we can make steps towards this is following rules. I’ll probably be fine continuing this way.. And you may be fine. But our kids need to be kids. For those of you who do not want to follow rules then don’t. But just remember - reap what you sow .

 So you know how people say to you "life is short. live in the moment". And you think, yea, I totally get that. But then life happens and you become crazy busy with kids and their activities, and jobs and housework.. that it becomes really hard to live in the moment.  And then the end of the day comes around and you want to sit down with your family and friends and remind them how much you care about them but you end up collapsing in front of your latest Netflix binge.  And you think tomorrow I will call my Mom or grandparent or BFF to catch up and at the end of the phone call I will make sure to say I love you so that they know.  But then tomorrow becomes a repeat of yesterday. Here's the thing. It is true that life is short. Life can change in a heartbeat and sadly, people I know have had that happen to them the past few weeks.  A 50 year old man that I went to summer camp with passed away suddenly, leaving behind a wife and two small children.  This past summer we beca

175k people have passed away from covid since my Mom died from it in April. Let that number sit with you for a minute . Since April. This same year. It breaks my heart what has happened to this world. Kindergarten children are learning remotely on computers when they should be chasing each other around at recess and learning how to poke a hole in their juice box. Our high schoolers are sitting in front of a computer from their bedrooms for 6 hours a day during what should be their most crucial years of education. Our college students are getting in trouble for trying to reach out and make new friends on campus because they aren’t social distancing. It all just sucks. And we don’t know when it’s going to change. And how it’s going to change. And what the change will look like. So we take small baby steps and wait for mother may I to let us take one giant step. (Am I dating myself with reference to that game?) It’s midnight and I’m not sleeping. (Shocker) I’m racing around in my mind t

First week of remote school seems to be going swimmingly for everyone. Our town had a zoom class hacked with images of Hitler. Kids can’t log onto their classes because of IT issues. Teachers are masked and shielded. College students can’t socialize normally and if they do-they’re “written up”. Meltdowns are happening hourly . And that’s just the grown-ups. It is confirmed folks. We are living in a twilight zone. There is no good for any of us. Teachers want to see your kids in person. Students want to see their friends in person. Cafeteria lunches were never so desirable . If any of us think this is temporary, I hate to burst the bubble but remember March? March 13th when the world shut down but we had all hoped the kids would be back a few weeks later? Yup. Need I say more? I’m petrified that 2021 isn’t going to look much different. So we can panic and worry obsessively (which honestly, I ROCK at doing) or we can take a deep breath and remember we can’t control this. (I suck at not

 I had an eyebrow waxing apt and needed to make a return at TJ Maxs so decided to leave a bit early.  I was too early (which is nothing new for me. If I'm 5 minutes early, I feel late) but the return line was long so I had time.  The line continued to grow.  Because only register 2 was open and the woman at register 2 was too busy on the phone to do any checkouts. There were other employees but apparently conversing in the aisles took precedence to helping out register 2 woman with the growing line. As I looked around, little girl was touching everything on the shelves. I get it little girl. It's tempting but we are in land of covid but whatever, I didn't judge (although apparently I did).  Her mask was not covering her nose but I let it go because she was like, 8. But then I looked around and at least 4 grown adults were not wearing their mask over their nose.  We are on month 6 here people. MONTH 6 OF MASK WEARING.  The masks go OVER your mouth AND your nose.  I started t

  I was fortunate enough to spend my summer at our second home.  Which we decided to impulsively buy during covid. Because nothing says “shit- we need to really live life like tomorrow may end” like a national pandemic resulting in more deaths than I care to discuss and the world wearing masks to stand in line for an ice cream cone. So here we are. I feel very fortunate. I’m fatter than I was when I bought the house - but fortunate. I’ve had more cocktails then I’ve had in 15 years and barely saw my children. (Credit to the teens they worked their behinds off this summer. Making decent cash and learning what it means to actually work. Super proud of them) My late afternoons were spent socializing Skylar (for those not following along - this is our now 8 month old bernedoodle who I wanted to send back at the beginning because she needed attention and I was dealing with my Mom dying and covid and the last thing I wanted was a puppy peeing on my rug 100 times )  (But now I’m in love with