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Jane Doe

I will start with the fact that my Mom is okay.
Leading up to how we get there has been a comedy of errors.

My Mom told me yesterday AM her mouth felt funny.
The beauty of her living in a facility with medical staff is that they hop on those things like white on rice.
Within minutes I was called and she went to the ER to rule out a stroke (remember first sentence. This story ends fine)

They told me she will be going to a suburban hospital so I get dressed and head there.
My mom has an aid escorting her in the ambulance and I find it hard to believe I'm at the ER before them.
Aid, who I will call the Marvelous Ms. M, texts me saying they are in the ambulance.

10 minutes pass and the ER still has no record of my Mom being there.
Marvelous  tells me they are definitely in a triage room in the ER.

You see where this is going.
I confirm hospital with Ms M and  within seconds the paramedic takes over her phone.

"Hi. This is the EMT. Your Mom is stable. We had to divert into the city because suburb wasn't taking potential stroke victims. Their scan machine is down".

A few expletives and I'm on my way.

But that would be after the 50 minutes of traffic, construction and lines at the local Marijuana shop (not me in line, just observing the line)

 I arrive at city hospital which I'm not too familiar with.
(I know. This is hard to believe myself. A hospital I don't know inside and out?)

No signs for an ER.
I roll down my window, people honking at me, asking lady in scrubs who doesn't know where ER is either.
Apparently scrub lady doesn't work at that hospital.

I see a small sign as I pull into main entrance that says "Emergency Room located at West Campus"

That's great.
If you know where the west campus is.
And if you didn't have to back up onto a main street filled with 1005 cars.
And reverse out of a one way entrance from the gated parking lot.

And you know
let's remember
thinking my Mom is having a stroke.

I frantically pull over trying to find address of west campus when I get a call from a nurse.
I seriously am so crazed trying to find my Mom that I don't even ask why she's calling me, I just demand an address.

Nurse not so happy to give me directions as she reminds me this is not the point of her phone call.
Mom is fine. Needed useless info that seriously could have waited until I arrived.

Ahead of me I see the road.
Same name road as west campus road.
Aha.
Look at me finding it on my own in the midst of stress!

Small road does not take me to west campus.

I do circles as I pass by all the well known, reputable hospitals in Boston.
None with directions to the ER.

With the help of Google and a GPS I find it.
What I do not find is the garage.

I pull up to Valet who shows me the garage is "just circle back this way and go over that way" and yea, thanks valet man, here are my keys.

My mom appears okay and the nurse assures me the same.
I am in desperate need of caffeine and toy with asking the Doc for some good meds but settle for a diet coke and a disgusting cafeteria lunch.

24 hours later my Mom is still in the hospital but here's the kicker...

She is known as "unidentified" because she came in without ID.
The woman is 90.

She didn't think to grab her purse and expired license on the way to the ER for a potential stroke.
The place she lives sent paper work along with her, but apparently that is not good enough.

When I try to find her hours later by phone (knowing she got transferred to a floor) it's comical that they ask me if I'm sure she is there
(yes, the fact that they have no record of her name in the computer is a tad concerning. Are her labs and tests actually being logged somewhere? Do I legally change her name to Jane Doe at this point? )

Oh, the nurse tells me, hours later when I call and finally found her.
The doctors wanted to reach you but we have no information for a contact.

Laugh, cry or scream?
Yea, I went with the latter.

I left it with the ER nurse and know it's on her paperwork that came with her.
Perhaps if you chose to give her a name you would've found her daughter!!

6 hours later, still awaiting a call from a doc.

I love you medical world.
Sincerely,
Jane Doe's daughter






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