Six years

 I was lying on the couch, six years ago almost to date, when I felt a pain under my bra. 

I went into panic when I felt a lump. "Do you feel this?" I asked my husband. He didnt. I get it. It was tiny. But I felt it. And knew it wasn't supposed to be there. 

It was a Sunday but you bet your ass that the minute my Dr's office opened the next morning, I was asking to be seen. 

She felt it too. But it was the side my mastectomy was on. My breast implant was a little saggy so "we" werent exactly sure what it was from. 

I knew. But I was hanging on to her being not sure. Naturally an ultrasound was immediately scheduled. 

The radiologist scanned my fake boob and said I dont see anything abnormal. Yea, well you arent in the spot I'm telling you! Once she found it she said "oh". 

It was the week before the holidays. Do you know what it's like to try to get a biopsy and results given to you a week before the holidays? 

You know how the rest goes.

It was cancer. Turns out I had 3 small lumps that were invasive on top of DCIS - all on the side I had a mastectomy. 

Six years have passed.

Im off my meds, my hair is grown back, my port is gone, my physical scars are less purple, my tears are less frequent. 

I never say Im on the other side because I dont like to jinx myself. 

I also know that the only reason Im so called, on the other side, is luck. There was no "beating" anything. There was nothing won. There was nothing I did differently than a person who lost their life doing the same exact treatments I went through. 

I do, however, believe that early detection is key. In all kinds of cancers. 

I also believe in trusting your gut, knowing your body, and self advocating. 

I also know that cancer is not just something you go through during your treatment. It is with you for a lifetime. The emotional scars, the lessons you learn, the stuff you went through- it doesnt just leave your heart once  your treatments come to an end. Sure, you move on- but it's a part of our story. 

So if you know someone going through cancer just please know that when their treatment is over, their real fight is just beginning. 

So on my six year cancerversary, I ask you to make sure your mammograms are scheduled. 

And of course, happy holidays!