eatthefrostingfirst

Feeling shitty- not sick; but gross. Ladies, you get me. Just one of those days. Looking in the mirror I'm seeing circles under my eyes (could it be the fact that I woke up every hour last night? Saw the clock read 1130-1230-130-ok, you're following along) Have a headache (hmm, lack of sleep, headache?) Youngest giving me a run for my money (seeing a pattern?) Feeling fat (nothing new)... and need to run to Bloomingdales to pick up a gift card. Throw on my sweats and know full well I'm going to regret it. After all-I'm going to Bloomingdales not my local mall. The minute I pull up and get out of the car I know I'm in trouble. Jeans with high boots are following behind me, to the side of me and yes, in front of me. And of course, all size 0. It's okay. I'm only here for a gift card and surely I wont run into.... okay, person I know from a while ago who clearly doesn't know me (or maybe she does and doesn't want to say hi either) Get th...

This is a good glimpse of what my life is like living with my eight year old.

I'm feeling sentimental today. You see, when you were a baby and living with a tracheostomy and depending on the ventilator to help you breathe, I joined an online support group. It was a group of Mom's mostly (some Dad's) who had children with trachs. They were essential at the time to my daily life. I asked them questions, I felt less alone; a huge sense of community. There I met a woman named Anne who had a son with a form of muscular dystrophy. He was far more sick than you and a few years older.  Anne had been on the boards a while by the time I joined and answered questions to all the "newbies". Giving them advice, support, an ear... I just found out that Anne's son passed away at the age of 13.  And my heart was sad. Sad because no parent should have to bury a child. Sad because although I cant compare the 13 years to the one day that I knew Zachary but, I also, buried a child. I know that hurt. Sad because her life, for so long, was filled with medi...