Youngest turned 14 yesterday which is an alarm signal for me to realize that camp is ending in 2 1/2 weeks.
For those who have never experienced the "re- entry" let me tell you how it often goes.
As you drive into camp- do not think for a nanosecond that your son/daughter will be excited to see you. (Unless they are 9 and even then mine ran from me. True story. RAN FROM ME. His counselor had to wrangle him up to even say hello to me)
Those tears you see? The kids holding onto each other for dear life?
Don't panic.
No one has been seriously injured- that is just your child not wanting to leave their summer family.
The girls will be openly sobbing and hyperventilating while the boys will just be wiping away tears with their sweaty t-shirts.
Campers and counselors will be walking around arm and arm, pretending that you are not there to take them home.
You will be doing the lifting of the duffle bags while your said camper is saying goodbye.
This may take 10 minutes or an hour.
All dependent on the level of tears.
Do not
I repeat
Do not ask questions to your child on the car ride home.
You have been warned.
It is not pleasant.
They do not want to speak to you.
They want to dwell in their sadness and look out the window as their 7 weeks pass them by.
You may want to break the ice by offering a stop at Dunkin' Donuts for the ride home.
If your child does start speaking, let them take the lead.
Do not interject more than 3-4 times and do not ask too many follow up questions.
The eye rolls and snarky remarks you may receive are not to be taken too personally.
Your child is in the beginning phase of re-entry and it is not pretty.
Home will seem foreign to them.
The house will seem huge and quiet.
The toilets and bathrooms will be clean but don't take offense if they begin to put their flip flops on to enter the shower.
Force of habit.
They, however, conveniently quickly forget how to use a broom or make a bed.
As you pull into the driveway you will immediately want to jump out of your car to empty out the entire SUV and throw it on the garage floor.
It will then be sorted into piles of wash, put away for next summer, throw in garbage or the inevitable "What the heck is this?"
Do not be surprised if you find clothing that is not your child's.
Do not be surprised if your child has miraculously lost 8 pairs of underwear and 2 bathing suits.
The $30 water bottle that he just HAD to have?
His favorite Under Armour shirt?
Yup. Gone.
Par for the course.
Your child will then lock themselves in their bedroom with their phone for the next 12 -24 hours.
They may or may not come out for food.
They may or may not converse with you.
Remember that your child has lived for 7 weeks without being nagged (asked) to do anything by an adult; let alone their parent.
They have not had to speak nice to their sibling, take out the garbage or walk the dog.
They may have put off their summer reading and the thought of an upcoming school year makes them want to retreat even further back into camp life.
Proceed with caution.
Let them take the lead.
At some point they will open up (unless they are a teenage boy and in that case, don't get your hopes up)
They may eventually start to share their summer stories and light and life may capture their face once again.
Re- entry is rough.
For both of you.
I leave you with final words of wisdom
those feet of theirs do not remain black forever.
For those who have never experienced the "re- entry" let me tell you how it often goes.
As you drive into camp- do not think for a nanosecond that your son/daughter will be excited to see you. (Unless they are 9 and even then mine ran from me. True story. RAN FROM ME. His counselor had to wrangle him up to even say hello to me)
Those tears you see? The kids holding onto each other for dear life?
Don't panic.
No one has been seriously injured- that is just your child not wanting to leave their summer family.
The girls will be openly sobbing and hyperventilating while the boys will just be wiping away tears with their sweaty t-shirts.
Campers and counselors will be walking around arm and arm, pretending that you are not there to take them home.
You will be doing the lifting of the duffle bags while your said camper is saying goodbye.
This may take 10 minutes or an hour.
All dependent on the level of tears.
Do not
I repeat
Do not ask questions to your child on the car ride home.
You have been warned.
It is not pleasant.
They do not want to speak to you.
They want to dwell in their sadness and look out the window as their 7 weeks pass them by.
You may want to break the ice by offering a stop at Dunkin' Donuts for the ride home.
If your child does start speaking, let them take the lead.
Do not interject more than 3-4 times and do not ask too many follow up questions.
The eye rolls and snarky remarks you may receive are not to be taken too personally.
Your child is in the beginning phase of re-entry and it is not pretty.
Home will seem foreign to them.
The house will seem huge and quiet.
The toilets and bathrooms will be clean but don't take offense if they begin to put their flip flops on to enter the shower.
Force of habit.
They, however, conveniently quickly forget how to use a broom or make a bed.
As you pull into the driveway you will immediately want to jump out of your car to empty out the entire SUV and throw it on the garage floor.
It will then be sorted into piles of wash, put away for next summer, throw in garbage or the inevitable "What the heck is this?"
Do not be surprised if you find clothing that is not your child's.
Do not be surprised if your child has miraculously lost 8 pairs of underwear and 2 bathing suits.
The $30 water bottle that he just HAD to have?
His favorite Under Armour shirt?
Yup. Gone.
Par for the course.
Your child will then lock themselves in their bedroom with their phone for the next 12 -24 hours.
They may or may not come out for food.
They may or may not converse with you.
Remember that your child has lived for 7 weeks without being nagged (asked) to do anything by an adult; let alone their parent.
They have not had to speak nice to their sibling, take out the garbage or walk the dog.
They may have put off their summer reading and the thought of an upcoming school year makes them want to retreat even further back into camp life.
Proceed with caution.
Let them take the lead.
At some point they will open up (unless they are a teenage boy and in that case, don't get your hopes up)
They may eventually start to share their summer stories and light and life may capture their face once again.
Re- entry is rough.
For both of you.
I leave you with final words of wisdom
those feet of theirs do not remain black forever.
Comments
Post a Comment