eatthefrostingfirst

I think I'm the only neurotic mother who makes her children wear helmets while sledding. Decided I dont care if I'm the only neurotic mother. At least my boys wont be a statistic. If mothering wasn't so strenuous at times I'm sure I would be able to shut my mouth for longer than 5 minutes and actually lose the 10lbs I've wanted to lose for the past 5+ years Also wonder if I'm the only mother who cant stick to her guns. I'm raising a very willful and assertive child (for those who know my children well enough, there's no need to ask which child I'm referring to) I discipline. Quite often. But there are times (many times) where I dont follow through enough. I know this is wrong. I know this is teaching youngest (okay, you figured out which child) that he can get away with things because Mommy doesn't always mean what she says but it's hard. It's hard being a Mom. I punish one the other gets the brunt. Do I really seriously care if he has an...

Went for my yearly physical. Good news : They now do Pap Smears every 3 years. Bad news: Their scale proved that my home scale was 2lbs off. In the wrong direction . I now have 10 lbs to lose instead of 8. How depressing Good news : Saved 20 cents/gallon at Stop and Shop gas today. Bad news: It took me 25 minutes to get to a pump. All the cars were going in two different directions with an old lady directing traffic and yelling at everyone. Good news :This year is almost over Bad news: School vacation begins in two days with not very much planned to entertain my two, very much in need of structure, children. Good news: Am starting a medication that I will take daily which side effects may help me sleep. Bad news: Said medication is needed for the migraines I'm getting almost daily due to damned breast cancer drug. Good news : Am almost in completion of year one of aforementioned breast cancer drug Bad news: 4 years left.

I, for one, am happy 2010 is leaving us. It has been a crappy 365 days. Well, maybe not all of the 365 days were crappy but a good portion of them I keep thinking it cant keep getting worse but I'm a bit afraid to say it out loud. Although 2010 brought me some really rough days it also gave me some highs. My BIL got married (and I gained a great SIL) My two boys entered Elementary School (freeing up some of my tension filled days) My 5 months of post-op Physical Therapy are over with We managed in a couple of vacations (although lets remember that one of them was filled with constant rain so that may have to go with the crappy part) I was reminded, through some very trying times, that I have the most amazing and supportive friends. And who said I was a glass half empty kind of person? I can see the good (sometimes) I try to see the humor (unless my 5 year old is throwing his 100th tantrum of the day and then I only aim to see the bottom of a wine glass) I try to look on the bright ...

It was my Dad's unveiling last week. I thought I would be strong. I wasn't. The minute I walked up to his grave it was as if I was reliving his funeral all over again. We then went to visit Zachary's grave. Something I've done quite a few times. I cried. Something I've done quite a few times. I was brought back to the morning of his death. I remember their birth, and Zachary's death, quite vividly. I remember the Doctor telling me that Zachary's condition was "grave". I remember them wheeling me into the NICU after my c-section to see the boys and then wheeling me up to my room to get some rest. There was no rest. 7 hours after my oldest son was born there was a knock on my door. I screamed and cried and clutched onto dear husbands shirt. I did not want to tell the person on the other side to come in. It was 3AM and I knew what that knock meant. He entered anyways. He told me Zachary's lungs were just too underdeveloped. Im so sorry. He said. I...