eatthefrostingfirst

Tomorrow my youngest son turns six. How did that happen? They say the days are long and the years are short and I must say... THEY are right. Wasnt it just yesterday that I laid in labor and delivery with my mother (while dear husband was home trying to find a nurse to care for oldest son who just got discharged from Children's Hospital with pneumonia hours before?) Wasnt it just hours ago that they told me "No, Mrs Stern. Your water did not break but yes you are having contractions"" (Really? The water leaking out of me is not amniotic fluid you imbeciles?) Wasnt it just a few minutes ago that you entered the world? All 6lbs, 7oz of you with tiny blue eyes and a nose that took up most of your face? You had rolls upon rolls compared to your big brother at birth and you were healthy and a love from the start. Oh my youngest child... you bring me joy and laughter every single day. you also make me want to rip my hair out but that's okay...(sometimes) Y...

My husband and I watched " Life as we know it" the other night. A kinda cute romantic comedy with Josh Duhamel and Kathryn Heigel. I laughed out loud at all the baby scenes. I'm allowed to laugh because it no longer makes me cry. Those sleepless nights The packing of the pack n play, activity mats, bottles, formula and teething toys just to go overnight to my in laws. The making up of songs just to get my kid to eat a bite of peas. It was my most favorite age; (its true. 6 mos-2 yrs.) I love the time of innocence ( not talking back ), exploring ( not destroying ), hugs and snuggles ( not "you're embarrassing when you kiss me at school!" ) But, I wouldn't go back if you paid me. Ok, maybe if it was a lot of money. But it would have to be a lot. I miss them being young but I love them being older. My overnight trips no longer consist of 100 different items. I sleep through the night (well I really dont but that has absolutely nothin...

There are days of course that I do think...holy crap I cannot believe all I've gone through. However, most days I dont think anything of it. Until its an anniversary of something Or a song comes on the radio Or I meet someone who says something which reminds me of a time back when... Or when its summer. Summer sparks it all I relive almost every aspect of the "crap" My 6 1/2 weeks of hospital stay at Brigham and Women's Hospital. Trying to hold out hope that my twin sons would survive. Oldest'sBirthday Zachary's Death My diagnoses of Breast Cancer. My mastectomy My fake boob Oldest's start of 180 days in the NICU Youngest's Birth You would think I would really start to become bitter over this time of year. But I dont. And although I admit I dwell on many things. The above are not any of them. Im over the fake boob thing (I thank god for my health every summer as I re-approach my yearly one sided mammogram) I'm over th...