When I decided to go to Home Goods at 5PM on a Sunday in December to look for throw pillows I did not expect the line at the register to wrap around; twice. For a second I thought the store was giving away the 1000 gift baskets that lined the front of the store but no, people are just insane getting ready for the holidays.
With no decent pillows in site I ran next door to Wegmans for the 3 items that were forgotten at the earlier morning shop.
Shopping carts were crashing into other shopping carts.
People were making scowly faces.
Toddlers were crying.
Women on cancer meds were having hot flashes while waiting in the express line.
Certain that I was going to pass out, I took off my winter jacket all the while the woman at the register giving me the evil eye. She was dressed in Minnie Mouse xmas ears and I really was not feeling the holiday spirit. Maybe she was eyeing me because she pitied my wavy short crop hair that screams "you had chemo" all the while I was holding on to my scallions and wondering if this was really worth the 4 bananas.
"Mam", Minnie shouted. I looked up but Minnie was talking to the woman behind me. "MAM. This is a line for 15 or less"
Mam was ignoring her so Minnie decided to involve me.
"Would you mind showing her the sign?" (Pointing up to, duh, 15 items or less)
Listen Minnie. Tis the season and all but if you dont hurry along with the woman in front of me there's going to be a "pick up on aisle 3" being yelled through that intercom any second.
Mam behind me rolled her eyes and said she has 15 or less.
I eyed her cart thinking there was definitely 16 in there and she was totally going to get yelled at by the Wegmans police for not obeying the sign.
In front of me the woman was buying 5 different sized poinsettias and I kid you not, not a one had a price tag on it. Minnie had to also wrap each one carefully and separately. Mam decided to move registers (afraid I'm sure of Minnie) and I was hoping that someone would resuce me with a gallon of poland springs or at least a giant fan.
Not a one of you ladies better be laughing at me because don't you worry, your hot flash time will get to you at some point in time and it is not pretty.
Sure enough. Minnie starts calling for Mam again.
This time. A different Mam.
"Excuse me Mam. This is a 15 item or less line"
I had to refrain from laughing.
Mam number 2 assured her that she would be fine. Minnie was not happy and I was so thankful for my clearly marked 3 items.
I couldn't get through that line fast enough. Out to the fresh cold air that would save me from the medicated induced hot flash.
On my way out I ran into a young couple shopping for tomatoes, holding hands.
Holding hands in the middle of Wegmans.
Romance at it's finest.
Bah Humbug from me and Minnie.
With no decent pillows in site I ran next door to Wegmans for the 3 items that were forgotten at the earlier morning shop.
Shopping carts were crashing into other shopping carts.
People were making scowly faces.
Toddlers were crying.
Women on cancer meds were having hot flashes while waiting in the express line.
Certain that I was going to pass out, I took off my winter jacket all the while the woman at the register giving me the evil eye. She was dressed in Minnie Mouse xmas ears and I really was not feeling the holiday spirit. Maybe she was eyeing me because she pitied my wavy short crop hair that screams "you had chemo" all the while I was holding on to my scallions and wondering if this was really worth the 4 bananas.
"Mam", Minnie shouted. I looked up but Minnie was talking to the woman behind me. "MAM. This is a line for 15 or less"
Mam was ignoring her so Minnie decided to involve me.
"Would you mind showing her the sign?" (Pointing up to, duh, 15 items or less)
Listen Minnie. Tis the season and all but if you dont hurry along with the woman in front of me there's going to be a "pick up on aisle 3" being yelled through that intercom any second.
Mam behind me rolled her eyes and said she has 15 or less.
I eyed her cart thinking there was definitely 16 in there and she was totally going to get yelled at by the Wegmans police for not obeying the sign.
In front of me the woman was buying 5 different sized poinsettias and I kid you not, not a one had a price tag on it. Minnie had to also wrap each one carefully and separately. Mam decided to move registers (afraid I'm sure of Minnie) and I was hoping that someone would resuce me with a gallon of poland springs or at least a giant fan.
Not a one of you ladies better be laughing at me because don't you worry, your hot flash time will get to you at some point in time and it is not pretty.
Sure enough. Minnie starts calling for Mam again.
This time. A different Mam.
"Excuse me Mam. This is a 15 item or less line"
I had to refrain from laughing.
Mam number 2 assured her that she would be fine. Minnie was not happy and I was so thankful for my clearly marked 3 items.
I couldn't get through that line fast enough. Out to the fresh cold air that would save me from the medicated induced hot flash.
On my way out I ran into a young couple shopping for tomatoes, holding hands.
Holding hands in the middle of Wegmans.
Romance at it's finest.
Bah Humbug from me and Minnie.
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