I am 49.
For 12 more days.
I remember when I was younger trying to figure how old I would be when it turned to the year 2000.
(32!)
Of course at the time I was still changing TV channels with a knob and trying to wrap phone cords around the corner so I could speak to my HS boyfriend in private.
But, 32.
Ancient.
And Im sure I sound like my Dad sometimes when I tell my kids about the "olden" days.
Film in a camera
Needles on records (and then explaining a record)
Walking to the store to get a slushie (Walking?!) (And slushies were around all the way back then? Even blue rasberry?)
Collecting Wacky Packs.
Fudgetown Cookies.
Whales on belts and turtlenecks.
Loves Baby Soft, mixed tapes and passing notes in the hallways at school.
I try to remember my anxiety, social and academic pressure, the uncertainty of the years as my teen eye rollers say a minimum of three words to me each day.
Good
Fine
What's for dinner?
I try to remember there was a time when I also didn't want to talk to my parents about boys or friends let alone how I was "feeling".
That's what my diary was for after all.
I try to remember that even though I was an average student, could do a mean volleyball serve but always got picked last for kickball, wanted to be a flight attendant and now fear turbulence, that all in all...
I turned out okay.
I try to remember this when I see my boys growing up right before my eyes (with new pants which are now too short) (needing to shave) (voices slowly changing).
I try to remember
I DO remember
that growing up is really hard.
That even at 49 and 353 days, that growing up ..
is still really hard.
It's all a learning process.
One GIANT learning process.
And some days we succeed.
And some days we fail.
And that's all okay as long as at the end of the day we feel we did our best.
We tried our best.
We were our kindest selves.
And with that, I will treat youngest this week to a blue rasberry/cotton candy coolata that he wants to try and I smile as oldest is downstairs with his friend working on a football fantasy league 5 months in advance and I realize that...
I'm okay turning 50
And yes. I plan to eat the frosting first.
For 12 more days.
I remember when I was younger trying to figure how old I would be when it turned to the year 2000.
(32!)
Of course at the time I was still changing TV channels with a knob and trying to wrap phone cords around the corner so I could speak to my HS boyfriend in private.
But, 32.
Ancient.
And Im sure I sound like my Dad sometimes when I tell my kids about the "olden" days.
Film in a camera
Needles on records (and then explaining a record)
Walking to the store to get a slushie (Walking?!) (And slushies were around all the way back then? Even blue rasberry?)
Collecting Wacky Packs.
Fudgetown Cookies.
Whales on belts and turtlenecks.
Loves Baby Soft, mixed tapes and passing notes in the hallways at school.
I try to remember my anxiety, social and academic pressure, the uncertainty of the years as my teen eye rollers say a minimum of three words to me each day.
Good
Fine
What's for dinner?
I try to remember there was a time when I also didn't want to talk to my parents about boys or friends let alone how I was "feeling".
That's what my diary was for after all.
I try to remember that even though I was an average student, could do a mean volleyball serve but always got picked last for kickball, wanted to be a flight attendant and now fear turbulence, that all in all...
I turned out okay.
I try to remember this when I see my boys growing up right before my eyes (with new pants which are now too short) (needing to shave) (voices slowly changing).
I try to remember
I DO remember
that growing up is really hard.
That even at 49 and 353 days, that growing up ..
is still really hard.
It's all a learning process.
One GIANT learning process.
And some days we succeed.
And some days we fail.
And that's all okay as long as at the end of the day we feel we did our best.
We tried our best.
We were our kindest selves.
And with that, I will treat youngest this week to a blue rasberry/cotton candy coolata that he wants to try and I smile as oldest is downstairs with his friend working on a football fantasy league 5 months in advance and I realize that...
I'm okay turning 50
And yes. I plan to eat the frosting first.
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