I now go to sleep before my children.
People who exit a bathroom stall should be required to tell you there is no toilet paper left.
And while we are at it, whose bright idea was it to make the bathroom stall doors open inward?
I do not understand google docs, snapchat or tik tok. I barely knew one name at the Grammy's and had to google if Billie Eilish was a male or female.
The Duggars, "Teen Mom" and all things Kardashian need to stop making any kind of headline.
I talk to my friends about This is Us, A Million Little Things, and Greys Anatomy characters like I used to discuss Days of our Lives "back in the day".
I get anxiety when my kids ask me homework questions that aren't related to creative writing or literature.
Boys think farts are funny no matter how old they are.
Remember when airplanes had smoking and non smoking sections? Like you wouldn't smell the smoke in row 14 vs the cut off in row 15?
I am the crazy person who checks that the security alarm is on, checks again, and rechecks on her 15th trip to the bathroom. I am the crazy person who cannot sleep if the alarm is not on. I am the crazy person who still has nightmares about home invasions at the age of 51.
And last night dreamt of Megan McCain. I'm watching too much of The View.
I read the obituaries and real estate listings almost daily. I am not moving and hope I'm not dying.
People who exit a bathroom stall should be required to tell you there is no toilet paper left.
And while we are at it, whose bright idea was it to make the bathroom stall doors open inward?
I do not understand google docs, snapchat or tik tok. I barely knew one name at the Grammy's and had to google if Billie Eilish was a male or female.
The Duggars, "Teen Mom" and all things Kardashian need to stop making any kind of headline.
I talk to my friends about This is Us, A Million Little Things, and Greys Anatomy characters like I used to discuss Days of our Lives "back in the day".
I get anxiety when my kids ask me homework questions that aren't related to creative writing or literature.
Boys think farts are funny no matter how old they are.
Remember when airplanes had smoking and non smoking sections? Like you wouldn't smell the smoke in row 14 vs the cut off in row 15?
I am the crazy person who checks that the security alarm is on, checks again, and rechecks on her 15th trip to the bathroom. I am the crazy person who cannot sleep if the alarm is not on. I am the crazy person who still has nightmares about home invasions at the age of 51.
And last night dreamt of Megan McCain. I'm watching too much of The View.
I read the obituaries and real estate listings almost daily. I am not moving and hope I'm not dying.
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