I was always taught to be strong.
Stay strong; my Mom would tell me.
I loved my Mom.
She turned into my best friend.
But I'm not sure staying strong is always the best advice.
Or more so, do we always need to stay strong?
I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I'm an open book. I cry openly. I feel heavily. I'm sensitive (sometimes to a fault). I also think I'm strong.
But not all the time.
And that's okay.
Because there are times that we cannot always hold it together.
There are times that it's hard to be the one in control. To keep our emotions in check. To hold up ourselves and others.
I was in my early 30's and at a funeral of a young woman.
It was tragic and sad and I was uncontrollably sobbing. My Mom held my hand and told me to hold it together.
"Be strong" she said.
This has stuck with me for years.
Why did I have to be strong?
Why was it wrong to show my sadness and how I was overcome with emotions?
Having strength does not mean you cannot have signs of weakness.
Being strong does not mean that you consistently have to hold it in.
Being strong means that it is OKAY to show you are human.
It is okay to show that you have feelings and moments that you cannot hold it together.
Being strong means you know when to ask for help.
When to lean on others.
When to say " I cannot be strong right now"
My life has been completely wonderful and blessed and fulfilled.
I had amazing parents who I loved to my core.
I married the man I continue to love more and more each day and have two fantastic children who are my entire world.
But my road has not been smooth.
I've had so many hills and mountains that I've climbed and people have said to me "you are so strong."
I was not given a choice.
I had to be strong.
I'm strong only because I know when to lean on others.
I'm strong because I openly admit my faults and know to face my obstacles head on (with a bunch of worrying and anxiety thrown in the mix.)
Not sure I agree with my Mom on this one.
It's okay to not always be strong.
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