eatthefrostingfirst

 "It's not when; but who". My mother told me this on many occasions.  Lonely Saturday nights. When I was invited to weddings and didn't have a date.  My 30th birthday. It wasn't when you married, but who you married.  (I quoted my Mom at our wedding during my speech. I loved this advice so much) And it is here, on my upcoming 20th wedding anniversary, (December 2nd. Im a couple days early)  that I realize even more that what (or who) I thought I wanted in my 20's differed from what I wanted when I hit 30. (Really, 32) And 20 years later...this is who I got. I married a man who held my hand when we realized we needed to go through infertility treatments. For two years he couldn't stand the thought of needles so he would do the next best thing..  heat up a sock filled with rice in the microwave for me to heal my bruised stomach from all the injections that I had to do. (A trick I learned back in the day) I married the man who went to work all day, rushed hom...

Things I think about at 2am I love chocolate with carmel but don’t like carmel flavored things I don’t like avocados but will eat guacamole. I’ve never had a cup of hot coffee and don’t drink iced coffee but love me some mocha chip. I make lists when I can’t sleep. I went thru the alphabet last night and named cities in Massachusetts - I was so annoyed with myself when I couldn’t think of a J. Jamaica Plain allowed me to rest easy. This is going to be the longest winter. Im reminding myself this isn’t forever. I remind myself of this after my 40th episode of Law and Order SVU and after I’ve had it with the hallmark channel Christmas movies and after my dog had her 6th bout of diarrhea and after I ate my third carmel blondie. Which is how at 2am I realized I love chocolate with carmel but not carmel things like ice cream. And this is how life becomes full circle and ends up in a blog post

This is what baffles me. When did your freedom to not wear a mask overcome your desire to help save lives? You’re not just saving another life- you are saving perhaps your own life. How can you not be on the same page as me? How can you be so selfish that you would rather make a point than worry about someone dying? I hope it’s not your parent that loses their life next. Or your child. Or your partner, best friend, former kindergarten teacher or the ER doctor down the street. Because that’s who is getting infected. And you better wake up because not only the elderly are dying. Not only the immunocompromised. Wake the hell up and stop making this political. Stop making this about your freedom and stop being so ignorant. We are better than this. This is not political. Our kids miss school. I miss your hugs. Please wake up.

   So clearly thanksgiving is a bit different this year . We aren’t doing the normal travel.  We aren’t needing to worry about who to sit at the kids table and I haven’t made 20 trips to the supermarket yet. It’s depressing as all hell.  I refuse to cave and am still making my thanksgiving meal- just for 4.  The issue is 3/4 don’t like the thanksgiving meal.  DH will tolerate it.  Oldest will eat sweet potatoes. Youngest will eat mashed potatoes and a bite of stuffing.  Everyone will eat dessert. So I’m making a 13 lb Turkey (the smallest I could find), stuffing, cranberry chutney (still doubling the recipe because I could eat this for weeks), two kinds of potatoes so each child has something to eat, and a chocolate cake (because it’s the only dessert all 4 of us will eat) This is only the second time in 52 years I won’t be with my brother on this holiday and the first time in 52 years I won’t have my Mom at my table.  I’m imagining some (most) o...