eatthefrostingfirst

5 years ago, youngest was brought into the world. And I cried. 1 year ago, I came home from the hospital, recovering from my mastectomy. And I cried 5 years ago, my boobs hurt, I was pumped up on percocet and it hurt to get out of bed. 1 year ago- DITTO 5 years ago, I sat and stared at my two boys, thinking how lucky I was to have them in my life. 1 year ago, I sat and stared at my two boys thinking how lucky I was to have a life.

Summer is a significant season in my life. July, 1999 I went on my first date with Dear Husband. Memorial Day wkend thru August 7th, 2003 I was hospitalized while pregnant with my twin boys. July 29th, 2005 I gave birth to youngest June 8th, 2009 I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. July 28,2009 I had a mastectomy. So the fact that I'm rehabbing from shoulder surgery doesn't make summertime my favorite season, that's for sure. It makes me think that last year, at this exact time, I was waiting to cut of my boob. That's pretty much how I looked at it. Cut it out. Get the cancer out of me totally and completely and hopefully, let's not look back. And other than a few surgeries afterwards, some itchy scars and needing physical therapy and surgery for the same sided shoulder- I haven't. Looked back. Until now. Because it's a year. A whole year and I feel like I can officially call myself a survivor. A whole year and it means I need to go back for my yearly mammo...

It's been an official heatwave in Boston this wkend. Three consecutive days of 90+ degree weather. I spent it with my arm in a splint. Do you know how sweaty your arm can get while lying on a beach in a sling? Day one Heatwave was spent at Nantasket Beach. Dear Husband asked if I wanted an umbrella packed. No need, I said. I'll bask in the rays from the comfort of my beach chair. How hot could it be at the beach? Apparently it's been a long time since I've been at the beach because it can get pretty damned hot. And did I mention the sling? The boys played on their boogie boards in the water while I people watched. Let's discuss Dear Idiotic Man who thinks it's cool to wear socks and hiking boots on the beach. You look like a moron. So did your tight jean smoking girlfriend in her too small bikini. Hippie man behind me calling his friend from his cell saying to friend "here is some peace for you. Listen to the waves. Sending you good vibes brother" Bik...

I ran into a new mom today. She was glowing. She talked about how she loves to wake up in the middle of the night with the baby because she has been waiting for this her whole life. Ahh yes. The new mom feeling. I remember that new found love. When you would just stare at your child in awe that he was actually yours. I lost that glow. I didnt want to burst her bubble because after all... I still stare at mine. In awe. But only because I'm in shock of what just came out of his mouth. Or the fact that he is tantruming in the middle of Target. Or because he just hit his brother. Or is taking two hours to eat a meal. Or is whining. We all need to be reminded of that glowing time in our lives. The time where parenthood was magical and happy... all the time happy. The time when we didn't yell so much The time when spit up on the third outfit of the day was our biggest problem. I love my boys unconditionally And of course, more than anything else in this entire world. Yet I don't ...

One week post-op from shoulder surgery and have to tell you, I'm not having fun. The R+R joy wares off really quickly. I cant sleep, find the sling annoying to wear and being doped up on pain meds only caused me nausea and vomiting. What I thought was scar tissue turned out to be just that with a large amount of bursitis and a full rotator cuff tear. I at least feel justified why I had shoulder pain for so long. Rehab/PT is 8-12wks. Did I mention I'm only on week one and sleeping sucks? I also found out I moved to the wild. Last March, I moved a mile from our old house, same town, yet am surrounded by wild life. In our yard we have: A fox, a groundhog (I kid you not, a groundhog. Okay maybe it's a beaver but we think groundhog) Rabbits. Huge black birds that look like crows, and 101 chipmunks. In the Winter months we also have Deer and Wild Turkey. I'm tired of Law and Order repeats and Regis, who I once adored, now annoys me. The guy needs to retire. Boys are in summ...