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Weather the storm

I have to laugh out loud when the oncologist asks me :" So, how have you been sleeping?"
Oh you nice man..I haven't slept since 2003.
Isn't that when you became a Mother?
Why yes, yes it is.
Things that make you go...hmmm...

I am queen of worrying. DH will not beg to differ.
Honestly I could teach a class on it- I'm THAT good.
I'm not sure I was always this way and pretty much blame motherhood, but, in my defense, oldest had a rocky start to life.

He was almost 2, I believe, and he wasn't clapping. He was in Early Intervention and I became an expert on learning what "crossing the midline" meant. He had a tracheostomy and tubes and was delayed, but the fact that he wasn't clapping was the bane of my existence.

Fast forward and oldest is 14 and youngest is 12. Oh what I wouldn't do to have clapping replace  food allergies, food struggles, attitudes, nightly reading struggles,  speech delays, medical issues, braces, social issues, eye rolling, academic issues...

I worried for years after my first cancer bout that I would get it on the other breast. I was having either a mammogram or an MRI every 6 months so figured if I did get cancer again; it would be caught early. I would have another mastectomy and be on my way. I was that ho hum about it.
NEVER, of course, did I think I would be that 5% that would have it reoccur in the breast that wasn't there. Breast cancer without a breast? Only me!  So see...all that worrying and it got me nothing in return.

There's that quote that says "Worrying is stupid. It's like walking around with an umbrella waiting for it to rain."
And maybe that is right.
Maybe you didn't need to spend all that time worrying about the rain because when it did rain- you grabbed your raincoat and your cute new light blue hunter boots and your polka dot umbrella and you went outside and faced the storm. And maybe you got a little wet and maybe your umbrella turned inside out because that wind was so damn strong you thought it may blow you away. And maybe you were freaking out a bit because you didn't know how long that storm would last and if you're not 5 minutes early to something it means your late and you panicked a little because it was starting to look like buckets but you know, not actually buckets, which really is a silly analogy so yea, at the end of the storm...you were dry and warm and safe inside your house with your furry slippers on.

And maybe you think Huh. Look at that. I didn't need to walk around with that umbrella because when I was faced with that storm I did pretty okay,

The moral to this story is my 14 year old...
an excellent clapper.

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