eatthefrostingfirst

Julia Louis- Dreyfus came out publicly to announce she was just diagnosed with breast cancer. I love that during her time of, what I can assume is anxiety, turmoil and fear that she brought awareness that one in eight women get diagnosed. (Not to mention the insurance thing but I'm trying not to get political on the blog) One in eight. Next time you're out on a girls night out think about that. Look around. One of you may be the one in eight. (Or if you want, bring me on your girls night out because I may be able to count for two and that lowers your odds) I don't say this to frighten you; but to bring awareness. I'm not sure why Breast Cancer has become such an epidemic. Or why kids aren't growing up on Peanut Butter and Fluff anymore because of this insane amount of peanut allergies. Or why Sharon Osbourne still stays married to Ozzy but the point is... it's happening. As we enter Pinktober I ask you.. do a selfie. #selfiessavelives Do it ag...

It's Herceptin day which means an hour ride into the cancer center. This morning though I was greeted by one of the cutest little 8 month old baby's fascinated by a wallet on the floor. I then decided every cancer center should be filled with healthy babies because nothing brings a smile to a sick persons face than a chubby cheek kid filled with a sweet potatoes face grin. B and I were buddies as I attempted to get her to crawl chatting with; who I assumed was Mom. As I learned it was girlfriend and mom was in getting infusion and couldn't bring adorable baby in with her. Brilliant girlfriend facetines with mom during her infusion helping her pass the time while getting to watch adorable B performing for strangers. After a while I looked quietly at a magazine while girlfriend read to her partner from a book. I didn't want to appear to nosy, as I stretched my ear to listen, but the book was full of inspirational thoughts and relaxation techniques. I teared up while brows...

I was 4 years old and I came home and asked my Mom "Am I Hanukkah or Christmas?" A valid question for a jewish girl from Newton MA who was in a catholic preschool being taught by the amazing Sister Phyllis. Turns out I am Hanukkah which means we, as Jews, are entering a new year. Can we get a big AMEN!? Being one who cannot WAIT to rid this god awful year I am thrilled to be able to have two opportunities to rid the year- my Hanukkah self wishes a hearty goodbye to the Jewish 5777 and I will be equally doing the good riddance thing in December wishing adieu to 2017. So, being the good jew that I am I have resolutions. These will not include my annual lose 20 lbs because sadly, that one has been on my list for the last 15-20 years and I'm starting to see a problem with repeat resolutions. NEW Resolutions. 1) Live in the now. This one is going to be the most difficult for me but I've been working on it. I'm a worrier by nature and when I can't fall asle...

So this is the thing... I'm tired of talking about cancer. And maybe you're tired of me talking about cancer. And lord knows I wish I wasn't talking about cancer. But I have to talk about cancer. I find it therapeutic. I find it on my mind a lot (DUH. The short hair and 50 ft long scar and lack of breast is kind of a tough reminder to ignore) I'm sure there will be a time when I wont think about it all the time but it's now a part of me. It was a part of me 8 years ago too but more so now. Because when you get the damn disease twice you're kind of thinking that, you know, it's a part of your story. Is it going to define me? I doubt it. I like to think I have other things that will define me. Mother of the year I'm sure is one of them because DH and both boys were gone all weekend. Yes, did you hear me? BOTH BOYS! AND DH! I had the house to myself (along with wonderful golden doodle). And what did I do when they left? No lie, I danced around ...

Before I had cancer when I did the laundry and saw that every single one of youngests socks was inside out I would groan and leave them that way. When it became time to put them on they would be inside out and he would have to spend the entire 10 seconds putting them on the correct way. Lesson learned? Apparently not because when I went to do laundry this morning (which , by the way, as a family of only 4, I seem to do quite a bit of) the socks were still inside out. But since I'm not sweating the small stuff anymore I lovingly laundered them. Biting my tongue as I saw the underwear are still in his pants because, after all, why take off each item of clothing at a time? Nope. Not sweating because there are more important things than correct socks. Before I had cancer I would tell youngest that his room needed to be cleaned. I hated that his shirts were put away in the drawer like rolled up pieces of trash.  Come youngest, come and look at your mother's neatly folded drawe...

To be truthful, I've never loved the color pink. But I would buy the occasional breast cancer shirt after my initial diagnoses because I wanted to support awareness. Now that I've been diagnosed again I truly detest the color pink. And yes, I'm jumping on the cancer sister train of hating pinktober. For the non cancer sisters let me tell you why. Firstly, pink makes me think girly. I was recently reminded from a new cancer girl cyber friend that not only women get breast cancer. Men get it too and to prove it, she had a male relative die from it. So yea, there's that. Secondly, the pink t's and cute hair ribbons and bracelets that you think you're buying because the money from the sale is going to breast cancer foundations- not so true. Okay, well it's true but it's not going to CURE breast cancer. Yes, some go to wonderful causes. Things like helping those who can't afford mammograms and promoting awareness but does awareness stop ca...

I've soaked up the last couple of weeks of summer. I've basked in the sun and did some New England getaways with my family. It's been relaxing and good for my soul. But school began and reality set in and on the same day the yellow school bus arrived I ventured into Mass General for my day of doctors. Plastic Surgery/ Reconstruction consult, Herceptin day and my routine Oncologist 9 week check in. It's sunny and warm out and my day was spent inside walls for sick people. Damned you cancer. You ruin everything.  I've mentioned before that you lose any kind of humility when you have cancer. Vanity? - scratch that too. You better not be afraid to show your breasts to physicians, nurses, technologists, residents and students in training because that's their job. To look, touch, examine and tug. And you really better not be afraid to show your breasts to the plastic surgeon doing your reconstruction if he is the one you attended summer camp with back in the ...