I'm heading into my 18th year of marriage.
I love the man I call a husband.
But before I can even roll over to start to decompress, he is fast asleep.
It's hard to find the love at this exact moment because I'm filled with jealous rage.
I don't even know how this happens each and every night.
I stare at the clock watching minutes turn into hours and I'm sure he is well into his 5th dream of the night.
I imagine it's about a lady beside him kicking him in the thigh, waist and arm as he lies snoring next to her.
Tell me how you do it village.
Are any of you the person who can instantly shut off their mind because I am desperate for that magic pill.
My dear husband, how are you not worrying about bar mitzvah invitations, what to wear to lunch the next day, your clothes not fitting, your hair not growing, and the stomach pain you've had for 7 days. Your kid is picking wrong friends, not enough friends, girls, boys, the pain of social studies (math, science, insert your choice), too much fortnight, too much screen time, and by the way, whatever happened to the girl in 7th grade who wore the knickers to school on day one? How is this NOT filling your mind?
100 minutes pass and I decide it's time for action.
I'm clearly not falling asleep so it's time for a distraction.
Bring on the scrabble.
Thankfully my scrabble dear friend lives in a different time zone and is awake.
I make a few moves until I decide I need to self medicate.
Benadryl or Ativan?
I go for the grape chewables (which I'm sure have well expired and wonder if it's even going to do the trick)
Miraculously the room seems quiet.
I need complete silence to fall asleep as I'm pretty sure I have a sensory issue when it comes to noise.
I do need my fan, however, for the white noise effect.
Which I guess is contradictory to me needing complete silence to fall asleep.
1:30AM suddenly becomes 4:44AM and I realize the grape chewable didn't kill me and actually gave me a few hours of sleep.
DH lies in silence and here, I find the love again.
I'm sorry my loving husband if you awake with giant bruises.
It must've been a bad dream of a crazy lady.
I love the man I call a husband.
But before I can even roll over to start to decompress, he is fast asleep.
It's hard to find the love at this exact moment because I'm filled with jealous rage.
I don't even know how this happens each and every night.
I stare at the clock watching minutes turn into hours and I'm sure he is well into his 5th dream of the night.
I imagine it's about a lady beside him kicking him in the thigh, waist and arm as he lies snoring next to her.
Tell me how you do it village.
Are any of you the person who can instantly shut off their mind because I am desperate for that magic pill.
My dear husband, how are you not worrying about bar mitzvah invitations, what to wear to lunch the next day, your clothes not fitting, your hair not growing, and the stomach pain you've had for 7 days. Your kid is picking wrong friends, not enough friends, girls, boys, the pain of social studies (math, science, insert your choice), too much fortnight, too much screen time, and by the way, whatever happened to the girl in 7th grade who wore the knickers to school on day one? How is this NOT filling your mind?
100 minutes pass and I decide it's time for action.
I'm clearly not falling asleep so it's time for a distraction.
Bring on the scrabble.
Thankfully my scrabble dear friend lives in a different time zone and is awake.
I make a few moves until I decide I need to self medicate.
Benadryl or Ativan?
I go for the grape chewables (which I'm sure have well expired and wonder if it's even going to do the trick)
Miraculously the room seems quiet.
I need complete silence to fall asleep as I'm pretty sure I have a sensory issue when it comes to noise.
I do need my fan, however, for the white noise effect.
Which I guess is contradictory to me needing complete silence to fall asleep.
1:30AM suddenly becomes 4:44AM and I realize the grape chewable didn't kill me and actually gave me a few hours of sleep.
DH lies in silence and here, I find the love again.
I'm sorry my loving husband if you awake with giant bruises.
It must've been a bad dream of a crazy lady.
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