When I was planning my wedding, I blogged (somewhere) about; well, planning a wedding.
Specifically planning a wedding with your Mother.
I love my Mom and we were semi in sync but there was the difference of opinions on bands and dresses to name I few.
I was blown away back in the day that there was an actual tablecloth lady who does just that;
tablecloths.
Now you may be asking why my Mom had a say in the planning and not DH.
He did.
We did.
But when your Mother is graciously paying for said event, it's kind of nice if you include her opinions in things.
(Plus I do value her opinion)
Now that I'm planning youngest's Bar Mitzvah I realize it's kind of one in the same.
(Without my Mother's input) (Kind of. Because if you know jewish mothers they always have an input) (Take out the jewish. All mothers)
But the same ridiculousness of the craziness you put into planning an event.
The one difference?
A wedding is a big deal.
Not that a Bar Mitzvah isn't but the kid is 13.
Why am I (we. Because I know there is a we out there) do this to ourselves?
And this is my second time around. I should know better.
I live in a Boston suburb and I know there are some extremes here (but not as crazed as they do in NY and LA)
But still, we do contact tablecloth ladies.
In 1981 I had a Bat Mitzvah.
And a seperate kids party.
Sure, we had a DJ, but I assure you there were no "enhancers".
WHAT? You dont know about enhancers?
Those are the DJ 's peeps.
They come to the party and enhance.
For a fee.
On top of the DJ fee.
And by enhance I mean they dance.
They get the kids to dance.
They clap loudly.
They make a big deal out of the mitzvah kid.
They are truly amazing but somehow in 1981 I got by without the enhancers.
And the socks.
Yup. Socks
We order socks.
Not hanes socks from Target.
Special socks
With some design or logo on them.
Mostly for the girls.
Because the minute the horah starts playing they take off their 5 inch wedges and throw them under the table and put on the party socks that you spent xx amount on so they don't get their feet dirty when they dance with the enhancers.
1981- I took off my shoes.
Of course no one noticed if I had socks on or not because we were in long Laura Ashley gunnysack dresses with lace.
There was no showing of an ankle, let alone a thigh.
Themes.
Yup. There are themes.
You know where I'm going with this, right?
1981- no theme.
If I had one, my theme was peach.
Because that was the color of my dress.
I wonder if I had a say in this because peach really isn't one of my top 10 colors but, peach it was.
My invitation was peach.
And I would bet money on it that I had no say in my invitation.
My kid? Yea. "I dont need to go to the invitation lady with you " (who cahoots of course with the tablecloth lady, the lady who addresses the envelope, the lady who does favors, centerpieces and rental chairs) "but I do not want the invitation to have" .. (insert your own choice here. Some suggestions may be: borders, squares, hebrew, color, script, middle name, hebrew name or a large envelope)
1981 there were no introductions.
DJ did not contact me months in advance so I stressed about what song I was going to be introduced to.
What song parents and siblings were to be introduced to.
Introduced?
Umm, it was MY party. The people knew who I was, who needed an introduction?
Candy bar, ice cream bar, donut bar, bagel bar, popcorn baar.
Favors that the enhancers pass out during dances.
Mardi gras beads, giant blow up feet, fake tattoo sleeves, light up rings-necklaces-bracelets, cowboy hats, mustaches.
Ink tattoos, henna tattoos, photo booth, green screens, caricatures, make your own tshirts, make your own hats, make your own shoes, make your own flip books.
Light up DJ booth, light up floor, light up towers, light up curtains, light up signs, rent curtains to enhance the plain wall in said venue, rent new chairs, rent uplighting, rent upstaging,
Up and up and up.
That's the price tag alright.
IT IS INSANE
But becoming a bar mitzvah means becoming a young adult.
MITZVAH : doing a good deed.
TIKUN OLAM : paying it forward- improve upon something.
Oh I'm paying it forward alright.
Right into the hands of my Visa bill.
I think some of us may be forgetting the main reason of this religious, special day.
(Guilty here at times -so surely not setting blame)
We may follow suit and we may go a bit all out.
I admit it's fun.
Really, a blast.
I'm loving it.
Truth. No sarcasm.
The parties are very fun.
And it's a wonderful occasion to see friends and family and act goofy in your velvet 80's hat as you pretend you know they lyrics to Taylor Swift.
And who doesn't love a good horah?
(What? Never done a horah? I encourage you to find a local temple immediately and crash a Bar Mitzvah this coming Saturday.
I promise you, no one will know you're not part of the guest list.
Don't forget...
Grab the socks on the way out and make sure you high five the enhancer.
Specifically planning a wedding with your Mother.
I love my Mom and we were semi in sync but there was the difference of opinions on bands and dresses to name I few.
I was blown away back in the day that there was an actual tablecloth lady who does just that;
tablecloths.
Now you may be asking why my Mom had a say in the planning and not DH.
He did.
We did.
But when your Mother is graciously paying for said event, it's kind of nice if you include her opinions in things.
(Plus I do value her opinion)
Now that I'm planning youngest's Bar Mitzvah I realize it's kind of one in the same.
(Without my Mother's input) (Kind of. Because if you know jewish mothers they always have an input) (Take out the jewish. All mothers)
But the same ridiculousness of the craziness you put into planning an event.
The one difference?
A wedding is a big deal.
Not that a Bar Mitzvah isn't but the kid is 13.
Why am I (we. Because I know there is a we out there) do this to ourselves?
And this is my second time around. I should know better.
I live in a Boston suburb and I know there are some extremes here (but not as crazed as they do in NY and LA)
But still, we do contact tablecloth ladies.
In 1981 I had a Bat Mitzvah.
And a seperate kids party.
Sure, we had a DJ, but I assure you there were no "enhancers".
WHAT? You dont know about enhancers?
Those are the DJ 's peeps.
They come to the party and enhance.
For a fee.
On top of the DJ fee.
And by enhance I mean they dance.
They get the kids to dance.
They clap loudly.
They make a big deal out of the mitzvah kid.
They are truly amazing but somehow in 1981 I got by without the enhancers.
And the socks.
Yup. Socks
We order socks.
Not hanes socks from Target.
Special socks
With some design or logo on them.
Mostly for the girls.
Because the minute the horah starts playing they take off their 5 inch wedges and throw them under the table and put on the party socks that you spent xx amount on so they don't get their feet dirty when they dance with the enhancers.
1981- I took off my shoes.
Of course no one noticed if I had socks on or not because we were in long Laura Ashley gunnysack dresses with lace.
There was no showing of an ankle, let alone a thigh.
Themes.
Yup. There are themes.
You know where I'm going with this, right?
1981- no theme.
If I had one, my theme was peach.
Because that was the color of my dress.
I wonder if I had a say in this because peach really isn't one of my top 10 colors but, peach it was.
My invitation was peach.
And I would bet money on it that I had no say in my invitation.
My kid? Yea. "I dont need to go to the invitation lady with you " (who cahoots of course with the tablecloth lady, the lady who addresses the envelope, the lady who does favors, centerpieces and rental chairs) "but I do not want the invitation to have" .. (insert your own choice here. Some suggestions may be: borders, squares, hebrew, color, script, middle name, hebrew name or a large envelope)
1981 there were no introductions.
DJ did not contact me months in advance so I stressed about what song I was going to be introduced to.
What song parents and siblings were to be introduced to.
Introduced?
Umm, it was MY party. The people knew who I was, who needed an introduction?
Candy bar, ice cream bar, donut bar, bagel bar, popcorn baar.
Favors that the enhancers pass out during dances.
Mardi gras beads, giant blow up feet, fake tattoo sleeves, light up rings-necklaces-bracelets, cowboy hats, mustaches.
Ink tattoos, henna tattoos, photo booth, green screens, caricatures, make your own tshirts, make your own hats, make your own shoes, make your own flip books.
Light up DJ booth, light up floor, light up towers, light up curtains, light up signs, rent curtains to enhance the plain wall in said venue, rent new chairs, rent uplighting, rent upstaging,
Up and up and up.
That's the price tag alright.
IT IS INSANE
But becoming a bar mitzvah means becoming a young adult.
MITZVAH : doing a good deed.
TIKUN OLAM : paying it forward- improve upon something.
Oh I'm paying it forward alright.
Right into the hands of my Visa bill.
I think some of us may be forgetting the main reason of this religious, special day.
(Guilty here at times -so surely not setting blame)
We may follow suit and we may go a bit all out.
I admit it's fun.
Really, a blast.
I'm loving it.
Truth. No sarcasm.
The parties are very fun.
And it's a wonderful occasion to see friends and family and act goofy in your velvet 80's hat as you pretend you know they lyrics to Taylor Swift.
And who doesn't love a good horah?
(What? Never done a horah? I encourage you to find a local temple immediately and crash a Bar Mitzvah this coming Saturday.
I promise you, no one will know you're not part of the guest list.
Don't forget...
Grab the socks on the way out and make sure you high five the enhancer.
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