eatthefrostingfirst

There was a time 2009 to be exact when it was the week before thanksgiving and my hot water tank blew. We had gone 5 days without bathing (don't judge) and the part to fix it was set to arrive the Monday before Thanksgiving. Let's just say it didn't. And resulted in a lot of back and forth calls to idiot company with a very aggravated woman (that would be me) because I was to host Turkey Day and refused to be smelly. The part arrived the day before Thanksgiving and thank goodness I have a handy husband who installed it himself and lo and behold- hot water! There was another time 2010 to be exact where I went to set the oven to "self clean"  and forgot to take out the oven liner (you know those sheets you buy so that when things spill, it spills onto the liner. You know, to make clean up easier) So yup- this didn't make clean up easier. Because it disintegrated as my oven was self cleaning. Causing a nasty stench in my house for hours and black p...

I have a box. It’s satin like and kind of a greenish blue hue- it’s tied with a bow. It sits in my closet up high on a shelf that I can barely reach on my tippy toes. I like it that way. I know it’s there but I have not opened it in years. It’s not as painful w but still so emotional. I opened it up when given to me but then not again for two years. I was never ready. I knew once I opened it a flood of tears were to follow. And I didn’t need any more reminders because I lived with the pain daily. It has been 16 years since I was given the box . It is filled with a hospital band, a small lock of hair, a card filled with condolences from the nurses and a hand knitted baby blanket that swaddled him- the same blanket I held him in as I said goodbye. Oldest doesn’t even know if the box. The one that holds his twin brothers only belongings. The only physical things that tie me to my first born. He was my baby. I held those babies inside of me for 27 weeks 6 days 20 hours My twi...

Dear 60 minutes, Dateline, Today Show, Nightly News, whoever may listen this is a story you need to feature. This is a story of dial up modems, life before smartphones, and when chat rooms were being put to good use. In 2001, I was a newlywed, 33 years old, and having trouble conceiving a child. Infertility was not widely talked about "back in the olden days" and I was alone. Or so I felt. I was surrounded by pregnant friends and  baby showers and never have I felt so helpless and hopeless. I had 3 failed IVF cycles  under my belt at the time, and did not know anyone in my situation. That's when the beauty of my computer came in. I found many others were doing the same. We started out one day putting in a search engine "infertility" or, in my case, "struggling to conceive." And there, a world opened up on my screen. A world which not only supported me but also embraced me. Why? They had been there. They were there. TTC (Trying to...

Someone, a while ago ,questioned why I chose not to go to a get together. Was I ok? I am okay, thank you. Does my not going out mean I am not okay? I was always ESFJ It's who I was. (You know- Myers Briggs Personality Test.) No matter how many times I took them. There I was ESFJ Extrovert Sensing Feeling Judgment I am confident I am still the SFJ (And lord knows  I am judgmental as much as I preach that I shouldn't be. ) And I will talk to anyone who passes me by But now days- give me my oversized sweats and a couch and I'm a happy camper. So does that mean I am more introverted now that I'm older? Because I'm choosing couch over party? Family over friends? And does that make me an introvert? And is being an introvert a negative? I think our values change as we age. (And thank goodness because there was a time I thought it was imperative my social life start at 10pm. IMAGINE? I am lucky if I am still in a bra past 6PM!) The said get tog...

I have a 3 month trial of SIRIUS XM and totally rocked out today to Da do ron ron. I am old AF. I do not know a single song on Pop2k but know every lyric to the songs on the 70's and 80's station. I haven't a clue how to work snapchat, google docs or how to post an insta-story but I am a great typist due to my expertise in ASDF;LKJ (thanks to typing class being a requirement in 1985) and am proud of myself for just figuring out my blue tooth. I prefer a real book over a kindle have never committed to watching an entire series on Netflix haven't the faintest idea how to work Apple TV and had to ask youngest what it meant to be a VSCO girl. I think I am in denial we are almost in the year 2020. I remember trying to figure out how old I would be when Y2K happened and couldn't imagine being the old age of 32. What would the world be like in the 2000's? Here we are where our president of our country is a moron where the Duggars are still appearing in...