eatthefrostingfirst

It is an absolutely beautiful gorgeous New England day . I did a virtual walk with two of my most wonderful friends (we all live in different states but exercising is always more fun with a friend. We walk. We talk. Win/win) I'm sitting on my porch and just finished a book. And I'm about to email Mary to confirm our visit. Are you ready for this one? If you remember, I posted a month or so ago about TIRDY WORKS on TRU TV. Yes. A show about poop. Mary makes things out of moose poop. Or sometimes Alpaca poop. She makes poo poo clocks, "deerings" (yes, deer poop earings) and even a pink ribbon "beat the crap out of cancer".  You can't make this shit up (see what I did there?) So Oldest became obsessed with the show. He learned about it because it followed "Impractical Jokers" which is another high end quality TV show.  Youngest then started watching and well, the rest is history. Oldest is turning 17 next week and the kid really has very few wants...

My mammogram was supposed to be 2 months ago. But covid happened and unless you were feeling something suspicious, you were put on hold. Do I think I have cancer again? I do not. Did I think I had cancer the first time? I did not. Did I think I had cancer the second time ? I did (kinda) not. Do I still freak out every 6 months? I’m 52 with more surgeries under my belt than I care to admit and two bouts of cancer and I’m a type A class worrier . Yes. I worry every 6 months (Or more) I was going to put off mammogram til after summer but was afraid I’d jinx myself so here we were. Mammograms,  as you women know, are not lengthy but they are uncomfortable. Mammograms while wearing a mask? Let’s just say when they say “don’t breathe” , that holding your breath in a mask, while your breast is smushed into the machine, chin tilted to the left, feet facing the right - it all makes you want to pass out. And I may have just about.... But didn’t. The bad news is my old mammo place used to all...

My mom died from covid on April 13. I spoke at her funeral “as of today, there are close to 24k deaths”. In less than 4 months, we are now at 141k deaths. Is this still a hoax? Are we still taking away your freedom by asking you to wear a mask? Yes. My mom was elderly. Doesn’t mean she deserved to die - and certainly not alone. Sure- many have had underlying conditions. Oh- so that’s ok that they died because they weren’t completely healthy? The “healthy” younger adults that are passing away “MUST have undisclosed conditions “. WRONG . This clearly isn’t going away right now. What we thought was maybe a couple of weeks of inconvenience is obviously turning into an unforeseeable future . I imagine; like you, are so tired of talking about covid and social distancing and idiots not wearing masks and young adults throwing covid parties. I imagine; like you, want  your life back. But here’s the thing. That’s not happening. It’s like life didn’t return to normal after 9/11. Security rule...

Facebook memories popping up can be great. We smile as we remember back to younger days, younger kids, our younger selves. They also can recreate old feelings. Some bring laughter Others being tears. We are mid way through, what Facebook reminds me to be , cancer month. Not national cancer awareness month but “Abby you went through cancer twice in July “ month. The first was 2009. I had a single mastectomy two days before youngest was going to turn 4. He didn’t understand why I wouldn’t be there in the morning when he woke and I remember him clinging to me, repeating “mommy wake me then you go to doctor”. I cried in the hallway, experiencing a panic attack. The thought of my breast being cut off was a lot to bare at the age of 41 (at any age )- looking back, I realize it was the “easier” part. (And in no way do I say “easy”lightly. For those who know and have followed me know I firmly believe there is no “good” nor “easy” in cancer ). I got through my mastectomy and reconstruction fair...