eatthefrostingfirst

Dear Husband decided it was time to take our VCR tapes (what's a VCR my youngest asks?) and put them onto DVD. Im sure in a few years we will be putting it onto some other kind of initial thingamajig but for now, DVD it is. So as he plays videos I sit on the couch in the dark watching my oldest son come to life as a baby. A baby with breathing apparatus in his trachea with ties around his neck to keep it attached. Instantly im brought back to changing those damned trach ties. Cleaning his trachea to keep it clean from infection, carrying ventilators and oxygen tanks up and down the stairs. I watch the screen as my oldest boy belly laughs over me making a funny duck sound. He is clearly entertained by his mothers antics but we cannot hear his laughter. It doesnt matter to me now but it broke my heart then. I didnt hear his little voice until he was 19 months old. He clapped for Mommy in the video. He crawled over to my Mother in Law who was playing peek a boo with him. He t...

I get sentimental around Thanksgiving. Probably because it's my favorite holiday. My Mom makes the world's best stuffing and I love the smell that the turkey brings to my kitchen. We used to have big Thanksgivings. I would see all my cousins and we would eat at my parents. They got smaller as kids grew and married off and started to spend Thanksgivings with their spouses families or extended families. And it changed because I started hosting the before my Dad died. So although our table is smaller and although my Dad no longer is here to carve our turkey- I still smile as the holiday approaches. And I now get how my Mom used to make 10 trips to the supermarket within two days because you forget that one ingredient that you needed even though you made your shopping list weeks in advanced. Because Im so anal Thanksgiving does get a bit frustrating because there is so little that I can do in advanced (other than some shopping) With Thanksgiving a week away, Im reminded of t...

Why do my children feel the need to tell me when they're going to the bathroom? Without fail, two minutes after my youngest goes to bed he comes out of his room to tell me his eye itches, needs a bandaid, is wheezing (really he isnt), needs a glass of water or has to go to poop even though I asked him 5 minutes prior. I learned that the secret to parenting is structure. My boys do not do well with down time. Oldest is going into third grade. This terrifies me because soon he is going to be asking me math questions that I wont know the answer to. I still get the baby urge. Until I nudge my dog away because she wants too much attention and realize I wouldnt be good at the baby phase again. I often throw out my childrens' art things without them knowing and then play dumb when they ask where they are. I admit Ive gone to IKEA just for the free babysitting.

I really cant complain (yet; I will) The boys had 8 weeks of summer camp 8 weeks of being out of the house from 9-4 Someone else was entertaining them, teaching them to swim, keeping them busy. It was; without a doubt, heaven. They have now been out of camp for 2 days. 2 days and already I have pullen my hair out, swore at them (okay not a real swear word but g-d damned comes close enough), have lost my cool on more than one occasion, broken up 15 arguments, and listened to my 7 year old whine, scream, tantrum, cry, throw and be defiant. SEVEN YEARS OLD! At three I said that he had nothing on the terrible two's. At four I swore it was  phase-he was transitioning out of naps after all At five when he still refused to poop on a toilet I said he was just strong willed. It will serve him well in adult hood. He then became six and I thought for sure he was just picking up this attitude at school. After all, this couldnt be ongoing, could it? Alas, here he is, seven years...