eatthefrostingfirst

My oldest son is outside playing w a friend from school. Tossing a football around. With a friend Did I mention this already? It's because I honestly never thought I would see such normalcy. He has friends- real honest to good friends (who are seriously such great kids I wish I could clone them) As Ive mentioned countless times I'm nauseous from reading it but oldest had/has so many issues that everything has been a struggle. Seriously- E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. Except being loving and sweet- that; he's a natural at. And so the fact that other boys his age want to friend him and see that he is seriously a funny, great, nice kid just warms my heart. It warms my heart so much I just want to tell all these mothers how much I adore their kids. But I dont want to get all psycho-stalky on them so I'll just write it here. These kids, these friends of his, they aren't rah rah sports 24/7 They aren't bullies or mean or fresh They aren't super competitive T...

I'm kind of bitchy. You may not say it if you met me ( or maybe you would) but I think I really am kinda bitchy. Im not sure I was always this way. But in my old age, I complain..a lot. I complain about my health (not the big stuff like Breast Cancer but the annoyances like migraines, my aching knees, my bad back, my jaw pain, the bags under my eyes, the marks on my skin, the 15 lbs I've been wanting to shed since my oldest was born....ok, wow, I really do complain a lot) or I complain about people I know or people I dont really know. I complain all the time to my husband about characters on TV that annoy me. Really? This is what Im wasting my time complaining about? Bad TV? I complain about the "friends" I have on facebook. I complain about facebook yet I'm glued to it. Mostly because I play scrabble on it 24/7 but I do still lurk and read what people say and then complain about the fact they are writing about what they are having for dinner. I'm...

Dear Husband decided it was time to take our VCR tapes (what's a VCR my youngest asks?) and put them onto DVD. Im sure in a few years we will be putting it onto some other kind of initial thingamajig but for now, DVD it is. So as he plays videos I sit on the couch in the dark watching my oldest son come to life as a baby. A baby with breathing apparatus in his trachea with ties around his neck to keep it attached. Instantly im brought back to changing those damned trach ties. Cleaning his trachea to keep it clean from infection, carrying ventilators and oxygen tanks up and down the stairs. I watch the screen as my oldest boy belly laughs over me making a funny duck sound. He is clearly entertained by his mothers antics but we cannot hear his laughter. It doesnt matter to me now but it broke my heart then. I didnt hear his little voice until he was 19 months old. He clapped for Mommy in the video. He crawled over to my Mother in Law who was playing peek a boo with him. He t...

I get sentimental around Thanksgiving. Probably because it's my favorite holiday. My Mom makes the world's best stuffing and I love the smell that the turkey brings to my kitchen. We used to have big Thanksgivings. I would see all my cousins and we would eat at my parents. They got smaller as kids grew and married off and started to spend Thanksgivings with their spouses families or extended families. And it changed because I started hosting the before my Dad died. So although our table is smaller and although my Dad no longer is here to carve our turkey- I still smile as the holiday approaches. And I now get how my Mom used to make 10 trips to the supermarket within two days because you forget that one ingredient that you needed even though you made your shopping list weeks in advanced. Because Im so anal Thanksgiving does get a bit frustrating because there is so little that I can do in advanced (other than some shopping) With Thanksgiving a week away, Im reminded of t...