Somehow this isnt what I envisioned

I never thought parenthood would go something like this:

"There is no hissing allowed. Next person who hisses gets a time out"

"If you copy your brother one more time I will turn this car around and we will not go to the bath store"

"Yes. You need to have two more bites of chicken and three more bites of carrot. No you cannot do one bite of carrot and one of chicken" "But mommy I'm full and I need to save room for my ice cream"

"Shush"

"Stop hitting your brother"
"Stop pinching your brother"
"Stop annoying your brother"
"Stop touching your brother's things after he asked you not to"
"Did you hear your brother just ask you not to touch his toy?"
"Stop touching the toy"
"Stop touching the toy"