A man I know was just diagnosed with cancer.
It is prostate cancer and "THEY" do say that 80% of men will get it by the time they are 80.
But that's not the point.
He heard the words "you have cancer" and as those of us who have been there, know all too well the rest of the conversation may have well been Charlie Brown's teacher maw maw mawing away.
There is nothing I hated more when people said to me "You will be okay".
I know that sounds weird because you would think I would be comforted by their positive thinking but it was more like "yea, you dont really know I will be okay so let me be my half glass empty person that I am and take your positivity with you out the door"
We want to be all positive polly but we only hear YOU HAVE CANCER.
We want to believe we will be okay, we will get through it, this will be just a chapter in our past some day.
But YOU HAVE CANCER is flashing like the Citgo sign at Fenway all through our thoughts.
Like every 10 seconds of flashing.
And then we google.
And think we are doctors.
And talk about people like Jerry Remy and Scott Hamilton who have had cancer come back into their lives more than once.
And then I'm me who am the 5% who get a reoccurrence after they cut off a boob.
So it's hard to be Polly when we are rocking it being negative Nellie.
Your mind goes 20 steps ahead.
You are already imagining what you will look like without hair and thinking 6 months ahead of that vacation you had planned wondering if you can still go.
Go on the vacation.
The hair thing sucks. It's totally okay to be vain about this.
Cancer sucks all around.
So weather you're in the 80% who may get it
or the group with the "good kind of cancer" (I call bullsh*$. I've said this before. NO GOOD IN CANCER)
or weather you're on your second diagnoses
it all sucks.
Cancer sucks so bad that there's a hashtag for it.
So do me a favor
even if you think your friend (spouse, sibling, relative) is going to be okay, just dont say it.
Because you dont know.
And it's not comforting for some reason.
I think because we know you dont know.
And we love you being all Polly when we want to be Nellie but really sometimes we just want you to sit and mull over it with us.
Or google things with us.
Or let us google.
But don't let us do it for too long.
It becomes super unhealthy.
At some point Polly needs to be the leader and make Nellie come back down to earth.
And remind Nellie that we can't think 20 steps ahead right now.
Let's get through this and worry about the next step if it happens.
God I'm getting so good at this blogging thing that I'm even starting to believe this one day at a time thing myself.
(Until January when I have my first MRI again since diagnoses)
(Then you know. Polly turns to Nellie)
Happy Thanksgiving village peeps.
I am truly thankful for keeping me company and allowing me to blog for my therapy.
xo
It is prostate cancer and "THEY" do say that 80% of men will get it by the time they are 80.
But that's not the point.
He heard the words "you have cancer" and as those of us who have been there, know all too well the rest of the conversation may have well been Charlie Brown's teacher maw maw mawing away.
There is nothing I hated more when people said to me "You will be okay".
I know that sounds weird because you would think I would be comforted by their positive thinking but it was more like "yea, you dont really know I will be okay so let me be my half glass empty person that I am and take your positivity with you out the door"
We want to be all positive polly but we only hear YOU HAVE CANCER.
We want to believe we will be okay, we will get through it, this will be just a chapter in our past some day.
But YOU HAVE CANCER is flashing like the Citgo sign at Fenway all through our thoughts.
Like every 10 seconds of flashing.
And then we google.
And think we are doctors.
And talk about people like Jerry Remy and Scott Hamilton who have had cancer come back into their lives more than once.
And then I'm me who am the 5% who get a reoccurrence after they cut off a boob.
So it's hard to be Polly when we are rocking it being negative Nellie.
Your mind goes 20 steps ahead.
You are already imagining what you will look like without hair and thinking 6 months ahead of that vacation you had planned wondering if you can still go.
Go on the vacation.
The hair thing sucks. It's totally okay to be vain about this.
Cancer sucks all around.
So weather you're in the 80% who may get it
or the group with the "good kind of cancer" (I call bullsh*$. I've said this before. NO GOOD IN CANCER)
or weather you're on your second diagnoses
it all sucks.
Cancer sucks so bad that there's a hashtag for it.
So do me a favor
even if you think your friend (spouse, sibling, relative) is going to be okay, just dont say it.
Because you dont know.
And it's not comforting for some reason.
I think because we know you dont know.
And we love you being all Polly when we want to be Nellie but really sometimes we just want you to sit and mull over it with us.
Or google things with us.
Or let us google.
But don't let us do it for too long.
It becomes super unhealthy.
At some point Polly needs to be the leader and make Nellie come back down to earth.
And remind Nellie that we can't think 20 steps ahead right now.
Let's get through this and worry about the next step if it happens.
God I'm getting so good at this blogging thing that I'm even starting to believe this one day at a time thing myself.
(Until January when I have my first MRI again since diagnoses)
(Then you know. Polly turns to Nellie)
Happy Thanksgiving village peeps.
I am truly thankful for keeping me company and allowing me to blog for my therapy.
xo
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