PSA

It's been 6 months since I visited the breast center, which means it's time to get the boobs checked.

Or really, one boob.

Because the other is fake so there's really nothing to check.

Although let's remember that the fake boob gave me a cancer reoccurrence so I'm not so sure I'm a believer in not checking the fake boob.
Because it's been 2 years since I actually found the reoccurrence lump that would have probably never showed up on an MRI and definitely not on a mammogram so if it wasn't for my due diligence...let's just say this would not be so full of sarcasm.

Well that's not true because it's my native language but it wouldn't be happy sarcasm.

So yea, do self checks.

I do them all the time.
Like
all
the
time.

I'm off my anxiety meds (HA. I know. It's funny.) and to be honest, I check them less than I did when I was on the meds so go figure.
I'm always seeing if perhaps the area they blasted with radiation, you know, missed a spot.
And it's probably ridiculous but you never know because you know, 5% cancer girl and all so
yup
I check the fake boob.

So it's 6 months and time for the mammogram.
I know I'm fine.
Well really I don't know but the probability that I'm fine is high.
Kind of.
I'm on cancer meds for the next eternity to cut my chances of getting it again.
And I'm checked every six months so I have that in my favor.
And oncologist tells me my chances of it going into the other breast are "not likely"
but
I'm jewish
which means we worry even when people tell us not to.
(Yes, I realize you can take out jewish and put in italian, catholic, greek, etc. We all worry. I really should just say women because men don't worry like women do)

We totally rock at the worrying thing.

So mammo is in a few weeks which means I start obsessing now.
Pain in breast.
Cancer? Most likely from working out the other day on my arms (I know. Who is this person talking about exercising? It's what happens when you turn half a century and you've had cancer and you huff and puff and oy a lot. You kind of have no choice anymore)
So okay, pain is probably muscular.
That lump is your damned dense breast.
The other 50 lumps on fake boob are apparently either fat necrosis or repercussions from radiation.
I don't buy either explanation so I continue to obsess and at some point will insist on an ultrasound because I'm convinced the MRI cannot actually pick up  the 50 lumps.

Yup.
Of course I know more than the oncologist and radiologist and whoever else tells me "it's probably nothing".
Because PROBABLY is the operative word here and there's no "probably" when talking about cancer.

So I'll obsess for a few weeks
until I'm (hopefully) told I'm "clean"
and then will self check for another 6 months.

So if you've learned anything from me I hope you've learned this

obsess alittle when it comes to breast exams.
It's okay and may save a life.