Never say never

Hello October
Hello Pinktober
Hello waking up to the TODAY show donned in pink.

It's wonderful.
Really it is.

Mammograms save lives.

We need to be aware.
We need to know it's okay to discuss things like dense breasts and self breast exams.
We need to let people know that if the cancer is caught early- there are great odds of survival.

But the words I despise are being thrown around:
Blessed
Journey
Survivor

Cancer is no blessing (in spite of it giving me a good kick of a reminder to not give a shit sometimes and eat the frosting first!)
My year of treatment (and my 8 years prior with cancer) was by in no means a freakin journey
And I refuse to call myself a survivor even though I know damn well that I am one.

I, of course, am very well aware that  my outcome could be worse.

But I know people who have metastatic breast cancer
I know people who have died from breast cancer.
I am guessing you may too.

Pinktober is about awareness but it also needs to be about research.
It needs to be about a way to find a cure!

Oddly pinktober started off for me with a trip to the oncologist with my dog.
As I had told you, she had cancer. A rare form that was found in her toe (which is usually found in dogs skulls and jaws. Like her mom, she's an anomaly)
Dr was optimistic about her future.
Be cautious.
Chest x-rays every 3 months along with ultrasound.

I walked out with Wilsey feeling optimistic.
Just as I feel optimistic about my future.

But as the vet said to me
"we never say never in cancer"

I will partake in a PATS crucial catch pre-game festivity next week
and I will gladly celebrate being a NED girl vs my former reign as cancer girl
but I am very well aware that there are no guarantees here

So as I sit on the couch
dog by my feet
husband by my side
the eye rollers doing their homework

I am feeling pretty (What's a synonym for lucky or blessed?)
Yup.
Feeling whatever that word may be.


I'm celebrating the jewish new year this week I will pass along what I ask of you...


I ask for forgiveness to those I have wronged.
I ask for understanding to those I have neglected
To those I have helped, I wish I did more
To those who have helped me......I thank you (from the bottom of my heart)