eatthefrostingfirst

I grew up without a pet. Almost all of my friends did not have pets. And because of a trauma at the age of 9, I was petrified of dogs. Because the neighbors dog; Yogi, a giant Doberman Pincher (Or a giant German Shepard. Whatever. GIANT) got loose while my brother and I were outside playing frisbee. (Remember when kids went outside to play? Back in the OLD days?) Yogi got loose and came charging at me- knocking me onto the driveway. A bump on the head soothed by an ice pack and a ice cream sundae at Baileys I was fine a few hours later. But  I felt  scarred for life. Until I met my highschool boyfriend’s dog , Tiffany, who was a bandana wearing, gentle yellow lab . And I learned that not all dogs were terrifying. But still, I did not want a dog. Until I did. DH wanted a dog. “We’ll see” I would say as we discussed it. “We‘ll see” when the boys get older. And then I fell in love. With a goldendoodle who would forever warm my heart. And named her "Wilsey" She is...

My friend and I were talking the other day about how people have told her she “doesn’t look jewish”. We pondered together. What does it mean to look jewish? Was she missing her jewish star tattoo ? A big nose? I know jews that are tall, short, skinny, heavy, white, dark, and blond. Please tell me what a Jew looks like. Apparently also,  all males who enjoy theatre and acting are gay. Okay George, Brad, Denzel and Leonardo - did you hear that? Black men have rhythm and are athletic. Asian? Genius. Tall skinny white boy- Why aren’t you playing basketball instead of enjoying the trumpet? In a wheelchair? Must be different. Let’s not approach. STOP THE STEREOTYPES! We are in 2020 and we are still talking about issues from decades ago. I want so much better for my kids. I want youngest to enjoy his love of theatre without people putting him in a category. I want oldest to be listened to in spite of a speech impediment. I want you to stop assuming my kids play sports because they are boy...

How to canoe. How to capsize a canoe. How to do a box stitch. And a circle stitch. I learned how to shave my legs Clean a toilet Use a tampon And found the joy in borrowing friends clothes. I excelled in Jacks, making hospital corners and flirting.  I sucked at swimming, water skiing, and tetherball . I learned I do not enjoy fast spinny rides at amusement parks and that it's humiliating to throw up after said ride- in front of teenaged boys. I learned what pink eye is how to shower in under 30 seconds in freezing cold water and what the inside of an infirmary looks like for longer than 24 hours. I found a love of BCP (Boston Cream Pie), a phenomenon called Shabbos Bread,  and that warm chocolate milk on a hot summer day is really really disgusting.  I learned to tie dye, grease a watermelon, dance the horah, serve a volleyball, get lice out of kids hair, and every single word to James Taylor's "You've got a friend". I l...

Sometimes I crawl into bed and just feel at peace. I get all comphy cozy under my comforter, ease into my pillow and say goodnight to DH. I am exhausted and SO ready for sleep. As comfortable as I thought I was; I'm not. I roll over, fluff the pillow, take a leg out from under the comforter, have a hot flash, get back under the comforter, roll over again. And then realize I have to pee. Even though I just peed. Repeat. I roll over facing DH, praying to myself he is turned the other way. I love DH. I do not love falling asleep facing him. Something about the breathing. I totally have sensory issues. Of course he is facing the way I want to sleep. Of course he is snoring. It took him all of 43 seconds to fall asleep. I could barely keep my eyes open why am I not asleep? I am not asleep because I am a woman and we are wired to not shut off our brains. 38 minutes later I have decided I want to go to TJ Maxx tomorrow, need to get shampoo at Target, (I better wri...

It's midterm week in the high school. They have 2 blocks of mid terms and then essentially, done for the day. There are scheduled buses at the regular end of day time but since I don't work, I taxi. And of course the boys midterms are at exact opposite times of each other. Oldest goes in on the bus. I drop off youngest at 10 while I then pick up oldest and  go back at 1130 for youngest. I don't really mind (though it would be nicer if we lived closer to school) but this is part of the Mom gig that I signed up for. My favorite part is arriving early. The preschool is attached to the HS and it's recess time. My kids are both alum of the school, so it makes me smile every time I watch the little ones running around on the playground. Today is windy. They are all buttoned up, accompanied by wooly hats and mittens. I watch one little boy spin in circles. Until he drops. A friend runs over to, I assume; see if he is okay. But then she drops on her botto...

Every once in a while I get a twinge. It feels like pins and needles running through my breast. The one breast. The original breast. And then I panic. Not just a "oh shit what is that?" panic but a full blown panic. Because that's how I panic. FULL BLOWN. Even though the entire world will tell you not to google symptoms it's evident that I will google symptoms. EVERY. TIME. So pins and needles in your breast can mean you are either A) Pregnant (Literally impossible) B) Have Breast Cancer. I am pretty sure there is a C option which I will call C) You are totally fine. But obviously I think B. Because my history with breast cancer kind of sucks. The twinges do not last long and have come and gone for a month or two. To be honest, and if I'm being real,  after the first full blown panic I pretty much talked myself out of it being breast cancer. Until I remembered that I felt twinges like this the first time I had breast cancer. Probably noth...