eatthefrostingfirst

 "It's not when; but who". My mother told me this on many occasions.  Lonely Saturday nights. When I was invited to weddings and didn't have a date.  My 30th birthday. It wasn't when you married, but who you married.  (I quoted my Mom at our wedding during my speech. I loved this advice so much) And it is here, on my upcoming 20th wedding anniversary, (December 2nd. Im a couple days early)  that I realize even more that what (or who) I thought I wanted in my 20's differed from what I wanted when I hit 30. (Really, 32) And 20 years later...this is who I got. I married a man who held my hand when we realized we needed to go through infertility treatments. For two years he couldn't stand the thought of needles so he would do the next best thing..  heat up a sock filled with rice in the microwave for me to heal my bruised stomach from all the injections that I had to do. (A trick I learned back in the day) I married the man who went to work all day, rushed hom...

Things I think about at 2am I love chocolate with carmel but don’t like carmel flavored things I don’t like avocados but will eat guacamole. I’ve never had a cup of hot coffee and don’t drink iced coffee but love me some mocha chip. I make lists when I can’t sleep. I went thru the alphabet last night and named cities in Massachusetts - I was so annoyed with myself when I couldn’t think of a J. Jamaica Plain allowed me to rest easy. This is going to be the longest winter. Im reminding myself this isn’t forever. I remind myself of this after my 40th episode of Law and Order SVU and after I’ve had it with the hallmark channel Christmas movies and after my dog had her 6th bout of diarrhea and after I ate my third carmel blondie. Which is how at 2am I realized I love chocolate with carmel but not carmel things like ice cream. And this is how life becomes full circle and ends up in a blog post

This is what baffles me. When did your freedom to not wear a mask overcome your desire to help save lives? You’re not just saving another life- you are saving perhaps your own life. How can you not be on the same page as me? How can you be so selfish that you would rather make a point than worry about someone dying? I hope it’s not your parent that loses their life next. Or your child. Or your partner, best friend, former kindergarten teacher or the ER doctor down the street. Because that’s who is getting infected. And you better wake up because not only the elderly are dying. Not only the immunocompromised. Wake the hell up and stop making this political. Stop making this about your freedom and stop being so ignorant. We are better than this. This is not political. Our kids miss school. I miss your hugs. Please wake up.

   So clearly thanksgiving is a bit different this year . We aren’t doing the normal travel.  We aren’t needing to worry about who to sit at the kids table and I haven’t made 20 trips to the supermarket yet. It’s depressing as all hell.  I refuse to cave and am still making my thanksgiving meal- just for 4.  The issue is 3/4 don’t like the thanksgiving meal.  DH will tolerate it.  Oldest will eat sweet potatoes. Youngest will eat mashed potatoes and a bite of stuffing.  Everyone will eat dessert. So I’m making a 13 lb Turkey (the smallest I could find), stuffing, cranberry chutney (still doubling the recipe because I could eat this for weeks), two kinds of potatoes so each child has something to eat, and a chocolate cake (because it’s the only dessert all 4 of us will eat) This is only the second time in 52 years I won’t be with my brother on this holiday and the first time in 52 years I won’t have my Mom at my table.  I’m imagining some (most) o...

 Oldest is a junior and we are in the very early stages of talking about colleges.  Which means at 12:53 AM is the perfect time to worry about the following  Where will he go? Should he be closer to home? Will he make friends or be desperate to come home? Will he remember to brush his hair ?  I have to think there’s a fit for everyone. Small or large university. Transfer out or transfer in. Community college, gap year or no college at all. I have to believe he will end up somewhere and will somehow be ok.  I’m not a helicopter mom. I’m really not.  But oldest has some learning disabilities and is a quiet child with a heart of gold..and I worry. It’s true that 1AM his junior year in HS is not the time to worry but it’s how I roll.  And let’s remember that college acceptance is way different than back in my day (omg when did I become old ?) I was an average student at best and can assure you I was not stressing out about where I should volunteer or that ...

 We barely go anywhere. My kids are in school only 2 days/week ... so tell me why I feel like my laundry has tripled in size and feels like a family of 10?  While I’m on a rant, thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and this will be the first year without my Mom.  This is also only the second time in 52 years I won’t be spending it with my brother. (#covidsucks) So we will be celebrating as a family of 4 , in which only one us likes Thanksgiving food. (This would be me ) I refuse to cave and am making my usuals.  Leftovers are the best part anyways. And to finish off the complaints, we have an entire bag of Kit Kat’s that no one wants to eat because DH thought they had dark chocolate in them and I thought they had white chocolate in them and we didn’t get any trick or treaters (which we never do but you know the one year we don’t have candy we will get them) and neither of my kids are huge fans of Kit Kat’s. Why oh why didn’t I just buy the 100 grands?  (My fat as...

 I’ve reached covid fatigue. I’m guessing you have too. Who would’ve thunk that covid fatigue would even be a thing?  But here we are. 9 months after our banana breads and basement and attic clean outs we have officially lost all interest in any more puzzles and some of us may have completed the internet . I’m bored. And itchy (not literally ) I don’t want to cook dinners and I never thought I’d wish I could just browse a mall. I want this election to be over. I want covid to be over. I want hybrid school to be over . I want the bachelorette to be over . I am a control freak and living in this uncontrollable world is starting (started ) to wear on me . I am failing miserably at one day at a time and just read the sales at IHOP are down. The world is now officially going to hell in a hand basket . Cheer me up village.  What’s your good today?