eatthefrostingfirst

 I joined the club. I didn’t want to really but there was so much peer pressure. Everyone seemed to be joining.  I got the invite on Monday but didn’t officially join til Wednesday.  People told me the club wasn’t so bad. I call bullshit. I thought having a single room with Netflix all day would be kind of nice for a bit, but turns out it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.  The days in the club are spent hacking, sneezing, aching, fevering, sleeping and not sleeping. Not everyone has the same visit to the club.  Some feel it’s just a minor inconvenience but others; like me, have a much harder time during their stay.  I’m thankful for science, because otherwise my club stay would be a lot longer, and maybe even I would need to  stay in one of their satellite locations.  Room service was pretty good up until the person(s) delivering the food were also invited to join the club. (Toast and jam by the way. For 3 days straight. Not to the fault of the del...

  On April 13, 2000 my mother was one of 24,000 who had died from Covid 19. Two years ago mask wearing was, not only  foreign to us; but also they were hard to find. People were hand sewing and online orders took weeks. We were making our own hand sanitizer. Buying anything that said “kills germs”. We wiped down our cereal boxes and some were wearing gloves to open their mail.  I was doing lots of puzzles. Lots of neighborhood walks followed by naps.  Fruits and veggies were hard to come by.  We are two years past the beginning of this nightmare.  Masks are now sold anywhere from CVS to Neiman Marcus. Hand sanitizer is plentiful and thank goodness; so is toilet paper. I outgrew the puzzle phenomenon and grocery stores no longer have 2 hour lines or one way arrows to shop.  And I hug my friends again. But two years after the start to a global pandemic , my Mother is now one of 960,000 who have lost their lives to Covid 19. We are hopefully on the other ...

  At 1030PM, each night, I roll over and either say “I’m soooo tired” or “I’m never going to sleep” Either way, it ends with the same result.. Me staring at my clock at 12:34AM (remembering some time back at camp someone told us this is when you should make a wish) So I wish for sleep. The TODAY show did a segment on guarantee falling asleep within 2 minutes.  I know the drill.  I do the drill nightly. Slow your breathing.  Start at your head and work down each limb. When your mind drifts off say “don’t think”. Ha. This technique clearly was not made for women. We do not know how to turn our brains off. But I tried. Started at my head. By the time I got to my neck I was singing Dancing Queen in my head (thanks to youngest being in the spectacular performance of Mamma Mia this weekend). Don’t think. Don’t think. Back to my head.  I made it down to my arms until I wondered what my best friend from 1992 is up to. Somehow, at some point, this clearly worked because ...

Wishes..... Here I am. With a senior in highschool. I was pretty sure one day I would be here; but back when he was 6 months old, when Dr. R  told me he would need a tracheostomy to breathe, I was not sure what his future would look like.  At two years old when he was in and out of the hospital with countless pneumonias and RSV, all I could think about was; would this ever end? At 4 years old, when he was in preschool and our afternoons were being spent at private speech therapy, feeding therapy, and occupational therapy,  I wished and wished that he would be having a playdate with a fellow classmate instead.  In Elementary school, I wanted him to have a complete day like the other kids. Instead, he was being pulled out of the class for extra help.  You get the gist.  My wishes went on and on as he grew.  I wanted normalcy but what exactly does that look like?  And also, was what I thought it looked like; going to work for him? We all want this id...

  To my daughter -if I had a daughter  1)Don’t overpluck your eyebrows 2) Give the smart, quiet boys a chance. One day you may want to marry smart and quiet.  3) Quiet doesn’t mean boring.  4) Don’t  compare yourself. It just brings nights of anxiety and it’s just not worth it.  5) Your mom ends up being your best friend. 6) Never over-do the blue eye shadow. 7) It’s okay to have friends beyond your friend group.  8) Always be true to yourself.  9) It is more than okay to say NO!  10) You are so much more than your looks and your weight. And lastly-#YOU ARE ENOUGH! 

  For my senior son (and your senior son) As these are your last few months,  before you head off to college, I want to guide you with my infinite amount of wisdom.  1) Wash your towels and change your sheets. Your roommate will thank you.  2) Watch and hold on to your drink cup (yes even guys have to do this).  3) Don’t take any pills. Ever. (Minus medicine!) 4) Be patient. You’re living with many different personalities now and not everyone will mesh. And that’s ok. Don’t conform and stay true to who you are. 5) No means no means no means no. 6) Put yourself out there. Join clubs and try new things. This is your time to figure out what you like and what you don’t. 7) Don’t be an asshole now that your parents aren’t around to watch.  8) Raman noodles are your friend. 9) Talk to your professors.  10) I gave you your wings- i cannot wait to watch you fly. But call your Mother!