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I'm so tired

Physically
Emotionally
I'm just drained.
I just want to crawl into bed and sleep...till life gets a little easier. The thing is, I'm not quite sure when that will be.
It seems like I always keep saying things will get better. They may; for a while. Then I get hit again.
My strength seems to keep being tested. I'm not quite sure why. I don't smoke or do drugs. I'm a good person with amazing friends and family. I just wanted to get married, have children, and live happily ever after. Why cant I live happily for a while anyways without being tested by some new challenge? Big challenges?
I don't always live day to day feeling sorry for myself. Actually for the most part I try not to do this. I have tough days but we all do. I have challenges with Oldest yet I try to remind myself that we all are faced with challenges. I try to remember that things could be worse...
Yet,
I'm tired.
I'm so tired of being strong and saying things aren't so bad. They are hard. My days are hard. I feel drained quite often.
And now I'm thrown yet another wrench in my life.
Breast Cancer.
Yes of course it could be worse. Don't I know it...I do not need to do chemo. My prognosis is not even close to being terminal. I'm so thankful...
yet I'm awaiting results from my MRI which will most likely determine my course of action. Lumpectomy vs Mastectomy. Neither is a day at the dentist.
I feel in a way I've already made my decision but am still anxious to hear what the surgeon recommends.
I'm ready to get on with things. To move on and get things over with. I keep hoping this is the last of wrenches thrown my way.
I'm sure it's not.
But one can hope.

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