Today's shout out is to my family.
I know, I'm usually complaining here but I figure I can't be complaining all the time.
No, that's not true. Actually I'm quite good at it. I excel at it if we are being honest but I do need to give credit where credit is due.
Completed week 8 today. Chemo is definitely
way better with a girlfriend. The time flew and before I knew it graham crackers were eaten, IV pump was beeping and needles were out of my port. (Have I mentioned I LOVE my port?).
As you know, I have had a tough couple of weeks. The physical stuff sucks for a few days and the emotional stuff, well, comes and goes. At 11:48 Tuesday morning I feel good so I thought I would ride with that.
First, to my kids. You take after me in the doom and gloom department (especially youngest; glass half empty like his Mom) but you have rocked the cancer in the family thing. It took them less than a day to care about my hair being gone and don't even look twice at me anymore when I walk around the house in my fully gray haired buzz cut. (I still can't pass a mirror without gasping or crying but that's a different day). "I need to nap" are four words they have heard quite a lot lately and I'm thankful for their independent ages. They do not need to be nagged to do homework and once completed are relatively quiet while I chill in front of Law and Order repeats. I'm not getting extra hugs or snuggles which I do often beg for (but they are tween boys so I get this. I think my snuggle days are long gone which makes me cry. Everything makes me cry.) but they have been rockstars in the patience department.
And my husband...well let's just say when we got married we didn't picture all these mountains and valleys that we would hurdle during our first 16 years of marriage. I pictured perfect pregnancies, two kids who would be spending Saturdays playing soccer, wonderful health and our biggest obstacles perhaps being an occasional pneumonia or broken limb. We, as a couple, and individuals, have been tested and tested again. If it sounds corny it is only because it's true, it has brought us closer together. He is the eternal optimist to my complaining, anxiety and constant worry. He is the quiet breeze when I have my raging storms. When I cannot breathe or take another minute, he does it with me. In our years of marriage I have learned that it's not about Hallmark cards and romantic nights out. It is not always about passion. It's about respect. And love. And being there- really, really being there. Being present. Putting the other ahead of you when they need to be and then; vice versa.
Please, take a minute to hear me when I tell you this: It's not about the dirty dishes or leaving the seat up. It's not about the fact that he left his laundry on the floor or wants to play golf on the one Saturday you wanted to shop with a girlfriend. It's about partnership. It's about being there when you think your world is about to fall apart and he is picking you up off the floor. It is about being your reasoning side when you are babbling and scared and panicked. It is about holding your hand and not caring that you have no female organs left, one breast, no hair, constantly bitching of your weight (as you eat a chocolate bar) and still...still he tells you "you are still you".
I married a good one and I just wanted to give him a shout out. He deserves it.
I know, I'm usually complaining here but I figure I can't be complaining all the time.
No, that's not true. Actually I'm quite good at it. I excel at it if we are being honest but I do need to give credit where credit is due.
Completed week 8 today. Chemo is definitely
way better with a girlfriend. The time flew and before I knew it graham crackers were eaten, IV pump was beeping and needles were out of my port. (Have I mentioned I LOVE my port?).
As you know, I have had a tough couple of weeks. The physical stuff sucks for a few days and the emotional stuff, well, comes and goes. At 11:48 Tuesday morning I feel good so I thought I would ride with that.
First, to my kids. You take after me in the doom and gloom department (especially youngest; glass half empty like his Mom) but you have rocked the cancer in the family thing. It took them less than a day to care about my hair being gone and don't even look twice at me anymore when I walk around the house in my fully gray haired buzz cut. (I still can't pass a mirror without gasping or crying but that's a different day). "I need to nap" are four words they have heard quite a lot lately and I'm thankful for their independent ages. They do not need to be nagged to do homework and once completed are relatively quiet while I chill in front of Law and Order repeats. I'm not getting extra hugs or snuggles which I do often beg for (but they are tween boys so I get this. I think my snuggle days are long gone which makes me cry. Everything makes me cry.) but they have been rockstars in the patience department.
And my husband...well let's just say when we got married we didn't picture all these mountains and valleys that we would hurdle during our first 16 years of marriage. I pictured perfect pregnancies, two kids who would be spending Saturdays playing soccer, wonderful health and our biggest obstacles perhaps being an occasional pneumonia or broken limb. We, as a couple, and individuals, have been tested and tested again. If it sounds corny it is only because it's true, it has brought us closer together. He is the eternal optimist to my complaining, anxiety and constant worry. He is the quiet breeze when I have my raging storms. When I cannot breathe or take another minute, he does it with me. In our years of marriage I have learned that it's not about Hallmark cards and romantic nights out. It is not always about passion. It's about respect. And love. And being there- really, really being there. Being present. Putting the other ahead of you when they need to be and then; vice versa.
Please, take a minute to hear me when I tell you this: It's not about the dirty dishes or leaving the seat up. It's not about the fact that he left his laundry on the floor or wants to play golf on the one Saturday you wanted to shop with a girlfriend. It's about partnership. It's about being there when you think your world is about to fall apart and he is picking you up off the floor. It is about being your reasoning side when you are babbling and scared and panicked. It is about holding your hand and not caring that you have no female organs left, one breast, no hair, constantly bitching of your weight (as you eat a chocolate bar) and still...still he tells you "you are still you".
I married a good one and I just wanted to give him a shout out. He deserves it.
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