Chemo number 9 is in the books. I know I'm nearing the end of this chapter and believe me, ever so excited for my hair to start growing back.
The end of the chapter though is only one chapter. Since I've always been glass half empty I just cannot think of this as a milestone.
2017 is cancer year. I will not be done with treatment and surgery until February 2018 so although this will be over and done with, I just cannot do the big "yahoo".
It's a small yahoo for sure. No more nausea. I'm hoping the fatigue will subside and maybe I will stop eating myself into oblivion. I look forward to the day I can take off the scarf and have a pixie cut (which is ironic because I've never had short hair. Having chemo will allow me to try all different types of hair styles. A small fun part I suppose). So yea, a few yahoo's for chemo ending. And I can stop eating graham crackers.
Radiation will start up sometime in June. Daily for six weeks. I hear it's not too bad other than skin sensitivities but of course I'm stressed trying to figure it into my summer work schedule at camp along with having to drag oldest with me. A small price to pay but just another pain in the ass as far as I'm concerned. Cancer- gift that keeps on giving.
And yes, once chapter radiation is through, a few months after that comes the big one..reconstruction.
So I've already gone through reconstruction once back in 2009 when I had my mastectomy. It was fairly "easy" as it was skin sparing. Because they had to take out my implant this time to go through all this fun I have no skin left, therefore they need to do a tram flap. Now one may think this is a bonus because really it's a tummy tuck. They will take my fat from my stomach and make a breast. Of all the places I am loaded with fat my stomach is probably the least of my issues. I begged fellow camp alum and plastic surgeon doc to take my butt and thighs but no go. He lovingly told me I had fat to give in my stomach. Terrific.
Tram flap is no easy surgery. The reconstruction the first time was an overnight and 3 week recovery but not too bad. Well I say that now. I did develop frozen shoulder and need two shoulder surgeries because of it so I guess really not a walk in the park but surgery- not so bad. This one is a huge deal. 3 nights in the hospital and 3 weeks-6 months til fully recovered. I am dreading the whole thing. Maybe my flat stomach will somehow work it's way lower to the butt and thighs but I'm not holding out hope. I'm pretty sure I need to portion out my meals better for that to happen. I'm on day two of this. It's a start.
So cancer, yes, the gift that keeps on giving for 2017. I hate to be Debbie Downer but it's hard to be anything else some days.
Day after chemo I'm in my normal position. Couch. Law and Order. Ginger Ale and Compazine. Friday I will join the land of the living again until chemo number 10. I know in a year from now this will be a distant memory but I hope my feelings stay the same. Not the being down part but the part of living life in a different way. Keeping the good. Weaning out the bad. Take in the sunsets. Breathe in the summer air. Hug your kids an extra minute (if they let you!). Remind your better half you love them. If people are bringing you down- walk away. We are not in highschool anymore.
I preach a lot but believe me. I still complain plenty...but I'm trying.
The end of the chapter though is only one chapter. Since I've always been glass half empty I just cannot think of this as a milestone.
2017 is cancer year. I will not be done with treatment and surgery until February 2018 so although this will be over and done with, I just cannot do the big "yahoo".
It's a small yahoo for sure. No more nausea. I'm hoping the fatigue will subside and maybe I will stop eating myself into oblivion. I look forward to the day I can take off the scarf and have a pixie cut (which is ironic because I've never had short hair. Having chemo will allow me to try all different types of hair styles. A small fun part I suppose). So yea, a few yahoo's for chemo ending. And I can stop eating graham crackers.
Radiation will start up sometime in June. Daily for six weeks. I hear it's not too bad other than skin sensitivities but of course I'm stressed trying to figure it into my summer work schedule at camp along with having to drag oldest with me. A small price to pay but just another pain in the ass as far as I'm concerned. Cancer- gift that keeps on giving.
And yes, once chapter radiation is through, a few months after that comes the big one..reconstruction.
So I've already gone through reconstruction once back in 2009 when I had my mastectomy. It was fairly "easy" as it was skin sparing. Because they had to take out my implant this time to go through all this fun I have no skin left, therefore they need to do a tram flap. Now one may think this is a bonus because really it's a tummy tuck. They will take my fat from my stomach and make a breast. Of all the places I am loaded with fat my stomach is probably the least of my issues. I begged fellow camp alum and plastic surgeon doc to take my butt and thighs but no go. He lovingly told me I had fat to give in my stomach. Terrific.
Tram flap is no easy surgery. The reconstruction the first time was an overnight and 3 week recovery but not too bad. Well I say that now. I did develop frozen shoulder and need two shoulder surgeries because of it so I guess really not a walk in the park but surgery- not so bad. This one is a huge deal. 3 nights in the hospital and 3 weeks-6 months til fully recovered. I am dreading the whole thing. Maybe my flat stomach will somehow work it's way lower to the butt and thighs but I'm not holding out hope. I'm pretty sure I need to portion out my meals better for that to happen. I'm on day two of this. It's a start.
So cancer, yes, the gift that keeps on giving for 2017. I hate to be Debbie Downer but it's hard to be anything else some days.
Day after chemo I'm in my normal position. Couch. Law and Order. Ginger Ale and Compazine. Friday I will join the land of the living again until chemo number 10. I know in a year from now this will be a distant memory but I hope my feelings stay the same. Not the being down part but the part of living life in a different way. Keeping the good. Weaning out the bad. Take in the sunsets. Breathe in the summer air. Hug your kids an extra minute (if they let you!). Remind your better half you love them. If people are bringing you down- walk away. We are not in highschool anymore.
I preach a lot but believe me. I still complain plenty...but I'm trying.
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