Cruising is our family happy place and the 7 day escape this past week was a much needed one.
We unplugged which is always a good thing and I really was able to sit back and relax (aside from a few scattered moments of screaming at my kids)
For a week we ate an obscene amount of food. Terrified to get on the scale and am sure I now need to lose 30 but will worry about that later.
I wore the same outfit twice, didn't pack heels, wore little makeup and didn't care that people looked at the #womaninthescarf.
I packed my wig but didn't wear it once. Thinking back before I lost my hair I couldn't imagine wanting to go in public without it and now I couldn't care less. Vanity goes out the window when you're a one breasted chemo patient.
We played trivia nightly and met some great couples- many from the south. If I could find a way to incorporate y'all (pronounced yawl) into my daily Boston rhetoric I would.
I went down waterslides with my boys, went tubing through a cave in Belize and drank fruity drinks.
They wouldn't give me a massage that DH surprised me with due to going through chemo so I guess I couldn't completely avoid being cancer girl for the week but for the most part I felt pretty good.
And then a woman approached me saying "I see you're a fellow warrior". I cried as she ended our conversation with a "god bless" but learned I don't like the "warrior" word.
Aren't we all warriors? It's not like I chose to have cancer. Im in "warrior mode" by default. I'm not fighting by choice and I certainly do not feel strong on many a day. Believe me I had a breakdown when I was tired of putting on the scarf to go to dinner and hated how fat I'm getting and how un-womanly I feel. I can't wait to feel like me again yet wondering if I ever really will. Maybe physically yet wondering emotionally.
On our way to the airport from the cruiseport our driver was telling us how she lost her husband to leukemia. It took him 6 months from diagnoses to death. "Fast and furious" she said. I shed a few tears as she said how she was so happy to see us making memories because she knows life can change in an instant. Her and I both agreed we have new outlooks on life and are sad it took something like cancer to get us there.
Whatever the path...I like being more zen. I like that I don't care that I didn't wear makeup and I'm happy I ate the cupcake at dessert last night.
Remember village peeps- life can be short. Look around sometimes- take a second and breathe in your surroundings.
And please don't forget - eat the frosting first.
We unplugged which is always a good thing and I really was able to sit back and relax (aside from a few scattered moments of screaming at my kids)
For a week we ate an obscene amount of food. Terrified to get on the scale and am sure I now need to lose 30 but will worry about that later.
I wore the same outfit twice, didn't pack heels, wore little makeup and didn't care that people looked at the #womaninthescarf.
I packed my wig but didn't wear it once. Thinking back before I lost my hair I couldn't imagine wanting to go in public without it and now I couldn't care less. Vanity goes out the window when you're a one breasted chemo patient.
We played trivia nightly and met some great couples- many from the south. If I could find a way to incorporate y'all (pronounced yawl) into my daily Boston rhetoric I would.
I went down waterslides with my boys, went tubing through a cave in Belize and drank fruity drinks.
They wouldn't give me a massage that DH surprised me with due to going through chemo so I guess I couldn't completely avoid being cancer girl for the week but for the most part I felt pretty good.
And then a woman approached me saying "I see you're a fellow warrior". I cried as she ended our conversation with a "god bless" but learned I don't like the "warrior" word.
Aren't we all warriors? It's not like I chose to have cancer. Im in "warrior mode" by default. I'm not fighting by choice and I certainly do not feel strong on many a day. Believe me I had a breakdown when I was tired of putting on the scarf to go to dinner and hated how fat I'm getting and how un-womanly I feel. I can't wait to feel like me again yet wondering if I ever really will. Maybe physically yet wondering emotionally.
On our way to the airport from the cruiseport our driver was telling us how she lost her husband to leukemia. It took him 6 months from diagnoses to death. "Fast and furious" she said. I shed a few tears as she said how she was so happy to see us making memories because she knows life can change in an instant. Her and I both agreed we have new outlooks on life and are sad it took something like cancer to get us there.
Whatever the path...I like being more zen. I like that I don't care that I didn't wear makeup and I'm happy I ate the cupcake at dessert last night.
Remember village peeps- life can be short. Look around sometimes- take a second and breathe in your surroundings.
And please don't forget - eat the frosting first.
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