I'm sorry to say I have someone else joining this crappy sisterhood (appropriately named "Shittiest Sorority" by another sister/member of the club)
According to Breastcancer.org "In 2018, an estimated 266,120 new cases of invasive breast cancer are expected to be diagnosed in women in the U.S., along with 63,960 new cases of non-invasive (in situ) breast cancer"
Terrific.
I remember feeling so alone when I was diagnosed the first time around. Now I'm surrounded by old friends and new friends. I wish we were bonded by our love of palm trees and drinks with fruit in them but instead we are bonded by stories of when our hair fell out and mastectomy vs lumpectomy. We have become experts in the lingo of stages, grades, chemo drugs, reconstruction and which surgeons are the best.
2018 has definitely been off to a better start than 2017.
365 days ago I was completing week one of chemotherapy feeling like I totally had this.
I was optimistic, energetic and ready to face this thing head on.
Until I didn't.
Until the hair fell out and the fatigue set in and my I hate cancer attitude overtook my I got this mantra.
But here's the thing newly diagnosed friends. It's 14 months since second diagnoses and I can get through a day without a nap. (But you know, if I can nap, I do, because why not)
And you know how much I hate my hair but it's hair at least.
And I still have 20 freakin lbs to lose because not everyone loses weight during chemo and of course if one good thing was going to come out from cancer for me it would be weight loss and naturally not one freakin good thing came out of cancer because that would be stupid to equate good and cancer in the same sentence anyway. So yea, still 20lbs. Tomorrow I start Jenny Craig. I'm turning 50 in May and god help me I will be thinner.
And I've said over and over how there are no gifts here but I do feel like I'm trying like hell to remember the important things on a daily basis. And I'm trying like hell not to fret over ridiculous things (like the fact that I sat between a really large person on one side of the flight home and on the other side was a petite little thing who smelled and fell asleep practically on me. Yes. I tried really hard not to fret when the large man didn't even try to move his arm from the armrest when I wanted to put my headphones nor did petite woman budge when I subtly (or not) pushed her leg when she started to nod off a bit to close to my personal space) Because you know. Zen Abby now.
So sure. I try to remember this stuff because I'm trying to remember Sam and the I am enough mantra. We all really need to adopt this. Cancer shouldn't have had to enter my life for me to realize this and please don't wait for it to enter your life until you realize this. Because clearly I hope it never enters your life. So just remember. You are enough.
And my new sisters, you remember that YOU are enough. You cannot do everything right now and no one expects you to.
So curl up on the couch tonight and watch the finale of Celebrity Big Brother which is clearly a giant train wreck of D list celebrities but mindless is good sometimes .Mindless is great during cancer.
According to Breastcancer.org "In 2018, an estimated 266,120 new cases of invasive breast cancer are expected to be diagnosed in women in the U.S., along with 63,960 new cases of non-invasive (in situ) breast cancer"
Terrific.
I remember feeling so alone when I was diagnosed the first time around. Now I'm surrounded by old friends and new friends. I wish we were bonded by our love of palm trees and drinks with fruit in them but instead we are bonded by stories of when our hair fell out and mastectomy vs lumpectomy. We have become experts in the lingo of stages, grades, chemo drugs, reconstruction and which surgeons are the best.
2018 has definitely been off to a better start than 2017.
365 days ago I was completing week one of chemotherapy feeling like I totally had this.
I was optimistic, energetic and ready to face this thing head on.
Until I didn't.
Until the hair fell out and the fatigue set in and my I hate cancer attitude overtook my I got this mantra.
But here's the thing newly diagnosed friends. It's 14 months since second diagnoses and I can get through a day without a nap. (But you know, if I can nap, I do, because why not)
And you know how much I hate my hair but it's hair at least.
And I still have 20 freakin lbs to lose because not everyone loses weight during chemo and of course if one good thing was going to come out from cancer for me it would be weight loss and naturally not one freakin good thing came out of cancer because that would be stupid to equate good and cancer in the same sentence anyway. So yea, still 20lbs. Tomorrow I start Jenny Craig. I'm turning 50 in May and god help me I will be thinner.
And I've said over and over how there are no gifts here but I do feel like I'm trying like hell to remember the important things on a daily basis. And I'm trying like hell not to fret over ridiculous things (like the fact that I sat between a really large person on one side of the flight home and on the other side was a petite little thing who smelled and fell asleep practically on me. Yes. I tried really hard not to fret when the large man didn't even try to move his arm from the armrest when I wanted to put my headphones nor did petite woman budge when I subtly (or not) pushed her leg when she started to nod off a bit to close to my personal space) Because you know. Zen Abby now.
So sure. I try to remember this stuff because I'm trying to remember Sam and the I am enough mantra. We all really need to adopt this. Cancer shouldn't have had to enter my life for me to realize this and please don't wait for it to enter your life until you realize this. Because clearly I hope it never enters your life. So just remember. You are enough.
And my new sisters, you remember that YOU are enough. You cannot do everything right now and no one expects you to.
So curl up on the couch tonight and watch the finale of Celebrity Big Brother which is clearly a giant train wreck of D list celebrities but mindless is good sometimes .Mindless is great during cancer.
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