College

 Im a bit of an insomniac.

I’ve gone through all the tricks. 

I often make lists in my head, mentally describe my  house , meditation apps, breathing techniques and of course- drugs. (Don’t worry. Prescribed stuff)

Sometimes it works.

Last night it didn’t.

So I did the worst possible thing- 

I turned on the phone. 

(Yes. I shut my phone off each night and we still  have a landline. Don’t judge )

I went into the rabbit hole of reading comments on a parenting blog.

The topic was college. 

My heart bleeds for our students. Our little ones who should be playing in sandboxes and our big ones who should be hanging out after classes with their friends. 

And of course-we are all in academia hell.

So the topic of conversation was kids getting into college. 

The comments were about many kids getting deferred from their top choices and many felt this was due to so many last year’s seniors taking gap years. 

Makes sense.

And it all sucks.

But here’s where they lost me.

THEY say that,although clearly GPA and extra curricular activities are important, colleges are really looking for the kids who “stand out”.

“You know.” One says. “The ones who start their own business”.

Now, I’ve written about this before but I can’t drop this subject.

Raise your hand if your 16 year old has their own business? 

Raise your hand if your 50 year old spouse has their own business? 

My boys are night and day. 

(That’s not their names obviously)

(Their names are oldest and youngest)

They have different strengths and weaknesses. 

They stare at screens and mumble under their breath a lot.

They’re also funny, kind, and an all around good kid.

Apparently, that means nothing any more.

Apparently, good kids are not enough. 

I get it. 

Of course I do.

Top schools want top students.

But there’s nothing wrong with the medium school. 

Or the lesser known school.

Or the no school.

To each their own.

Oldest will end up at a different school than youngest.

Different skills, different strengths.

Wherever they end up, I hope they have fun. 

I hope they make new friends and gain more confidence.

I hope they learn to advocate for themselves, find a career path, and know when to seek out help. 

I’m not saying you shouldn’t want your kid to succeed. 

Or push themselves.

But to say that they need to start their own business to stand out- this is where I draw the line.

They’re kids for such a short amount of time.

They have a lifetime to be a grown up.

Bottom line for me:

I hope they learn a bunch of stuff and figure out how to make their own dinners for the rest of eternity.