Not the overnight I envisioned

 I’ve had a nice 20 hour bonding time with oldest. 

When I prayed for someone to take me on a overnight escape I wasn’t exactly envisioning a cot, pillows that feel like paper bags, and a view of a hospital parking lot. 

But; there I was. Getting an overnight away from home. 

Just me, oldest, an asthma attack and a lot of medical staff in PPE.

My kid has been in and out of hospitals his entire early life.

When the dr asked me how many pneumonia’s he has had in the past I actually laughed. Like out loud. 

Umm-

I can’t even begin to guess? 9? 50? 

When she asks me for his current med list I can’t remember the dosages but I can list off his medical history in a nanosecond. 

It was time to go to the ER when his fingers were looking blue and his oxygen level began with an 8 in front of it (for those who don’t know- you never want to be in the 80’s. especially low 80’s with purple like fingers).

The upside is I’ve been around the block with this kid and you would think as anxious as I am, I don’t flinch in a medical situation.

  Calm as a cucumber . (Wait? Are cucumbers calm? I guess it’s cool as a cucumber . Forgive me- I’m going on one hour sleep in the last 48 hours )

The second upside is “asthma attack” gets you to bypass  an ER triage and enter a room instantly.  When the nurse and nurse practitioner eyeball each other at my son’s low oxygen level I think they expect me to be a bit more alarmed. 

But you know- cucumber . 

So here we are. 5 hours in the ER (which they now apparently call an ED) waiting to be admitted to a floor (because there was no way they were letting us out of there ) and I’m doped up on caffeine at midnight.  And maybe a chocolate chip cookie .

If you think that watching your kid get a giant q- tip up his nose may be kind of funny - it’s really not . (By the way-

Covid tested twice and he’s negative. )

So -I’m pretty much a giant poster board for the medical field. I am the cheerleader for all nurses (they are honestly heroes) and there has rarely been a physician I’ve met in my son’s 17 years of care that I haven’t been fond of. But night nurses- listen up...

Not everyone is working the overnight shift. 

As a matter of fact, the people you are there for are actually hoping to sleep.

So I get your job is to come in every two hours and give my kid albuterol treatment to open up his lungs while he’s on a crap load of oxygen, but,let’s also remember he’s in a hospital-

And it’s 3am.

Talking in your “daytime inside “voice is a bit harsh for those who are trying to, at least, pretend to sleep on your paper bag pillows. 

Your timing, at 3AM, asking my kid what his favorite subject is and what he wants to major in at college, is really very sweet but perhaps better suited for ... maybe when the sun is shining and he’s not incoherent. 

And maybe try to keep your voices down a decimal or two. I know it’s your “daytime” but it isn’t for the rest of the world. 

But thank you- truly thank you- for donning your PPE, for risking your lives, for working endlessly and tirelessly, and for caring enough about my kid to ask him what he wants to do in college (which, by the way, is “no clue” just yet )

We are in day two and he is off of oxygen and hopefully coming home soon. Just another blip in our freakin fantastic start to 2021.

And just so you know, I’ve given myself a new doctorate degree

Abby Stern PAMD (practically an MD)