So recently I got to guest blog on SCARY MOMMY'S website. My last post (here titled the Happy Dance) created some controversy. Most people got my sarcasm yet some thought I sounded like a miserable alcoholic who also hated her children.
I laughed (okay, I shed a tear but then I laughed) because obviously nothing could be further from the truth. I'm not sure which was funnier. The fact that someone really thought I needed to drink to get through two hours of parenting or was it funnier that someone thought I really disliked my children?
And if I seriously disliked my children would I actually be telling the entire world?
I often, OFTEN feel guilty complaining about them.
After all, I did struggle through years of infertility to have them so shouldn't that mean that I SHOULD be loving and soaking up every single moment that I spend with them?
Shouldn't I be relishing in the good AND the bad?
Because;after all, that's what parenting is all about?
No!
We have our children (however way we get to become a Mother should not matter) and we are HUMAN. We have bad days and wonderful days.
We have days we want to eat them up because you think your heart is going to explode because they are so delicious and isn't it amazing how in the next minute you want to pull your hair out because they just will NOT STOP TANTRUMING.
You are only human.
You are a mother.
No one ever said you had to be supermom because you went through countless of IVF treatments to get this wonderful human being that you call your son.
You do not need to relish every second with your child because you didn't carry him/her yourself and the guilt is consuming you because you just want to read your People magazine on the couch for a minute. One minute!
If you traveled to Russia to adopt your fantastic baby it's okay to still want to cry because it's 3AM and you are not sleeping and your baby is not sleeping (yet your husband? He is probably sleeping)
It's okay my mom friends.
It's okay if you want to reach for a glass of wine (no this does not constitute being an alcoholic)
It's okay to take 5 minutes to lock yourself in the bathroom to see what the Kardashians are up to
It's okay to NOT want to play a board game, a kickball game, a ballerina game, a card game.
It's okay to turn on the TV or let your child play a video game.
You are not a bad mother.
You are not "spoiling" your children and you are not letting a 'screen' raise your children.
You are needing a minute to yourself.
Or in some cases, an hour or even a day to yourself.
You need this because you want to be the best Mom that you can be.
And being that best Mom..
that means recognizing you need to get away from the ones you absolutely adore you would jump in front of a bus for.
And you know what?
They need that time away too.
That's how you encourage them to be independent and strong and use their imagination to play by themselves (heaven forbid) and how they learn creativity and oh, did I already mention independence?
This is OKAY!!!
I laughed (okay, I shed a tear but then I laughed) because obviously nothing could be further from the truth. I'm not sure which was funnier. The fact that someone really thought I needed to drink to get through two hours of parenting or was it funnier that someone thought I really disliked my children?
And if I seriously disliked my children would I actually be telling the entire world?
I often, OFTEN feel guilty complaining about them.
After all, I did struggle through years of infertility to have them so shouldn't that mean that I SHOULD be loving and soaking up every single moment that I spend with them?
Shouldn't I be relishing in the good AND the bad?
Because;after all, that's what parenting is all about?
No!
We have our children (however way we get to become a Mother should not matter) and we are HUMAN. We have bad days and wonderful days.
We have days we want to eat them up because you think your heart is going to explode because they are so delicious and isn't it amazing how in the next minute you want to pull your hair out because they just will NOT STOP TANTRUMING.
You are only human.
You are a mother.
No one ever said you had to be supermom because you went through countless of IVF treatments to get this wonderful human being that you call your son.
You do not need to relish every second with your child because you didn't carry him/her yourself and the guilt is consuming you because you just want to read your People magazine on the couch for a minute. One minute!
If you traveled to Russia to adopt your fantastic baby it's okay to still want to cry because it's 3AM and you are not sleeping and your baby is not sleeping (yet your husband? He is probably sleeping)
It's okay my mom friends.
It's okay if you want to reach for a glass of wine (no this does not constitute being an alcoholic)
It's okay to take 5 minutes to lock yourself in the bathroom to see what the Kardashians are up to
It's okay to NOT want to play a board game, a kickball game, a ballerina game, a card game.
It's okay to turn on the TV or let your child play a video game.
You are not a bad mother.
You are not "spoiling" your children and you are not letting a 'screen' raise your children.
You are needing a minute to yourself.
Or in some cases, an hour or even a day to yourself.
You need this because you want to be the best Mom that you can be.
And being that best Mom..
that means recognizing you need to get away from the ones you absolutely adore you would jump in front of a bus for.
And you know what?
They need that time away too.
That's how you encourage them to be independent and strong and use their imagination to play by themselves (heaven forbid) and how they learn creativity and oh, did I already mention independence?
This is OKAY!!!
It's totally OK. I admit, when I first had my son, I didn't have much of a sense of humor... I also had postpartum anxiety. But now, I think everyone needs to find humor in ways they find most helpful, and if they don't, they can go elsewhere! I appreciate that you handled the tough comments so well on that ScaryMommy post, Abby.
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