I never got to know Zachary.
I heard his heartbeat and felt his kicks inside of me for 28 weeks.
I touched his fingers,his toes, his head after he was born.
I held his 2lb 10oz body in my arms but his heart wasn't beating anymore.
His name was Zachary but he is the son I never got to know.
And although I never got to love the person he could become, he has taught me things .
Things that I may not have ever known.
Like being strong.
Maybe I was always strong and it took until this time to figure it out.
Maybe I didn't know that I had it in me. That I could take such hurt and heartache and loss yet somehow still get up the next day because...well because I had to.
He taught me about perseverance.
I was told for weeks before he was born that he may not survive.
I was told that perhaps his brother may not survive and what did I want to do?
What kind of decisions did I want to make?
I was already a mother. They were my boys.
I persevered. I held on to lots of hope and somehow I found courage.
He gave that to me.
He gave me a reason to love and to hope and to dream.
He taught me about a loss so strong that no mother should ever have to bare but many have and many much worse off than me
he taught me about survival
He did not survive but he is with me, in my heart..every day
the son I never got to know.
I heard his heartbeat and felt his kicks inside of me for 28 weeks.
I touched his fingers,his toes, his head after he was born.
I held his 2lb 10oz body in my arms but his heart wasn't beating anymore.
His name was Zachary but he is the son I never got to know.
And although I never got to love the person he could become, he has taught me things .
Things that I may not have ever known.
Like being strong.
Maybe I was always strong and it took until this time to figure it out.
Maybe I didn't know that I had it in me. That I could take such hurt and heartache and loss yet somehow still get up the next day because...well because I had to.
He taught me about perseverance.
I was told for weeks before he was born that he may not survive.
I was told that perhaps his brother may not survive and what did I want to do?
What kind of decisions did I want to make?
I was already a mother. They were my boys.
I persevered. I held on to lots of hope and somehow I found courage.
He gave that to me.
He gave me a reason to love and to hope and to dream.
He taught me about a loss so strong that no mother should ever have to bare but many have and many much worse off than me
he taught me about survival
He did not survive but he is with me, in my heart..every day
the son I never got to know.
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