eatthefrostingfirst

I would not recommend having your house cleaned 24 hours before you suffer through GI symptoms from chemo. I have to call them GI symptoms because apparently when I mentioned in more detail to DH, he told me I was sharing TMI. My girlfriends, however, could have cared less about the words I was using (Once again, proving a point that everyone needs some good girlfriends by their side.) I would also not recommend searching through every cancer blog imaginable nor reading every book OR reading every side effect that has to do with your medication.  BAD MOVE. Oh this fog I have- clearly side effect. Mouth sore? Yup. Side effect. Headache. Stomach ache. Knee ache. Craving for chocolate chip cookies?  Blame the cancer! Anyone see School of Rock? Stick it to the man? (Google it. Or better yet, see the show) But this is how I'm feeling about the cancer stuff.  I'm going to play the cancer card if I can. 2lb weight gain? The NEED for the white cadbury eggs that they onl...

Chemo day one really started off quite easy. Good news: it's a holiday so we zipped into Mass General and found an easy parking space . Bad news: it's a holiday; cafeterias closed and I forgot my bottle of water. Good news: Lots of free snacks when you have chemo. Enough bottled water to hydrate a camel. Free lunch and discounted parking. Bad news: Lab was understaffed. It took 3 hours to wait for my bloodwork to come back before I could start chemo. Good news: massage therapist came around and gave me a foot massage. It was (almost) like being at a spa. Bad news: Except you know, it's not a spa. Because people are hooked up to IV's and stuff getting chemo poured into their veins. Directly across from me was a tired and weathered looking man and his wife who sat lovingly by his side reading a book; glancing up every now and then asking if he was doing okay. He had an oxygen tank and clearly this was not his first rodeo. Diagonally from me was, I'm guessin...

Twas a few nights before chemo and all through the house everyone was sleeping except cancer girl.  (A term I recently learned about from a fellow "survivor"- apparently reserved for once you go bald. I kind of like it though-makes me feel like a super hero so I'm going with it. ) And of course everyone is sleeping. DH doesn't wake even if I kick him in the side 20 times to stop his snoring. Me? Goes something like this. Head on pillow. Toss leg over the body pillow that you refuse to rid since days you were pregnant. Toss onto the other side because the side of no boob hurts from the recent scars. Toss on to back because the other side holds the port and it now feels like you have a vein running into your neck and you are pretty sure it's blood clot because that's what it says when you google "Vein popping out after port placement". DUH Close your eyes. Breathe. cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer Shoot did I close the garage d...

This is what I've learned.. Everyone needs a cry now and then. Crying solves shit but it releases a ton of emotions so go with it. Chocolate solves everything (except cancer) You will get cancer the second you decide to invest in a curling iron. Yes, the one you've wanted to get for years because you think your hair looks kind of cute curled so you go for it. You finally figure  out how to get a good curl and then you get cancer. And the curling iron gets shoved in the drawer. You read your hair;  if lost, may grow in curly anyway so the damn curling iron- a big waste. If I do lose my hair I'm thinking I can save some bucks in the next coming months. Coloring and hilighting your hair gets quite pricey. And I like good smelling shampoos of course. A couple spritzes of hair spray. And I'm thinking I will no longer need to put a headband on to wash my face to hold back the hair from falling into my lathered cheeks. So, there's that. I've learned that goog...

Apparently if I ate flax seed and Salmon I wouldn't have Breast Cancer. I wouldn't know a flax seed if I saw one (unless it's in between my Hershey bar or a slice of pizza) and I don't eat pink food. So there's that. I'm sure that's why I have Breast Cancer. And I was supposed to have breast fed. (Clearly my pumping enough milk to feed all of Massachusetts for 6 months while my son was in the NICU didn't constitute breast feeding) And limit hormone therapy. Yea the 6 IVF treatments I went through and all the shots of hormones I injected into my stomach and tush- another reason I have cancer. It's no wonder I got it. TWICE. Oh wait, there's this: I don't smoke. I've never done drugs (except Ativan. Who doesn't love Ativan? And maybe I beg for the versed every time I'm wheeled into surgery but that's given by the guy behind the surgical mask so  I'm pretty sure this is okay) I don't drink excessively. Hell ...

Sat in 75 mintues worth of traffic to make it into Boston for my wig consult. I was up all night worrying about shaving my head. When do i shave it? How do I shave it? I've been advised to wait til it falls out in clumps and then embrace the whole thing. Since there is a 50% chance that I actually MAY not lose the hair I'm not buying one just yet but I want to be prepared. Because when you're anal retentive personality- this is what we do. I have to say, it was actually kind of fun. It gave me some inner peace. It made me feel like I will semi look okay if I want to venture out of my house (ever). So on went the bald cap. Then came the wig that made me look like Cher. And the one that gave me a Jennifer Aniston kind of vibe. I was platinum blond for a nanosecond. Then I found the one.  The a-ha moment almost similar to when you find your wedding dress. Except you know, not really similar because that was a happy time and chemo; not so much. But im trying to s...

I never understood people who were against the pink phenomenon. Awareness of a disease? Why not? Who are we hurting? Throw on a pink t- tie a ribbon in your hair- raise some funds and celebrate a sisterhood. I've walked. I've raised money. I've worn the T (I refuse the bow) I semi get it now. The distaste for the awareness month. Firstly, every day to the survivors is awareness month. We dont forget. It's a bit how I feel about the prematurity awareness thing- I get it. I see my preemie son every day and the preemie days are still there 13 years later. The thing is with the pink thing- it's all fun and games til you get breast cancer. We dont want to be celebrating being a survivor because we just want to forget it ever happened in the first place. Or really,we just want to find a cure so it never happens again. Ever. That being said- I will still fundraise. I hope it goes to research. I will probably still wear a pink T (although it makes me look rudd...

I had a chemo teach appointment today which should really be renamed "let me tell you every side effect that you may possibly get and scare the crap out of you "appointment. There I sat across from two pharmacists who were lovely and went through line by line through my "cancer packet". How to deal with chemotherapy How to deal with mouth issues What to expect from your port How cancer effects your fertility and sexaulity. How cancer effects your joints, your heart, your mouth, your bodily functions. Where was the part how cancer effects your mood? Your sanity? Your ability to think clearly? I was feeling strong. Until I wasn't. #Igotthis #positiveattitudeiseverything Sure, Im positive. Im positive that I want to cry and hurl every other minute. I'll be okay. My oncologist told me there's a 98% chance of me being okay. Those are good odds. In the same breath he told me he wants me to do more genetic testing because there are now 60 (or was i...