To wig or not to wig?

Sat in 75 mintues worth of traffic to make it into Boston for my wig consult.
I was up all night worrying about shaving my head.
When do i shave it? How do I shave it?

I've been advised to wait til it falls out in clumps and then embrace the whole thing. Since there is a 50% chance that I actually MAY not lose the hair I'm not buying one just yet but I want to be prepared. Because when you're anal retentive personality- this is what we do.

I have to say, it was actually kind of fun. It gave me some inner peace. It made me feel like I will semi look okay if I want to venture out of my house (ever).


So on went the bald cap.
Then came the wig that made me look like Cher.
And the one that gave me a Jennifer Aniston kind of vibe.
I was platinum blond for a nanosecond.
Then I found the one.  The a-ha moment almost similar to when you find your wedding dress.
Except you know, not really similar because that was a happy time and chemo; not so much.
But im trying to stay positive so lets go with the a-ha moment.

So countdown to chemo is T-4 and I'm feeling positive.
I'm feeling strong.
I can do this.
I have to do this of course but I now believe I can do this.

So Monday morning I will put on my most comfortable of yoga pants, ride into town with my DH by my side and watch as poison gets seeped into my veins to kill whatever cancer may be still in me and to kill any possibilites of it returning.

I'm writing this as I'm listening to Trump praise himself and already the nausea seems to be starting early.