Planned to shave the head today.
If I'm being honest I hate the fact of having it fall in my hands during a shampoo and Ive kind of come to terms with the whole hair loss thing. I went to MGH and had an apt to cut it. It was like an episode of goodnight moon as I left my bathroom this morning- goodbye brush- goodbye headband to hold back my hair- good bye hair dryer. Goodbye curling iron that I wont use for a bit.
MGH cancer store rocks. They have everything you need and she was honest when I sat down to have the head shaved. "I would wait". She said. You still have so much hair. It's thinning but apparently Im the only one who can notice and is driven insane by it. Of course DH and my dear friend told me the same that morning but apparently I needed 15 more people to tell me. So I walked out of there with some bras to hold the fake breast in place and kept my hair (which ironically is in desperate need of a cut but I feel that's counter productive right now)
Long chemo was yesterday (which really isn't that much longer with the extra med). I'm feeling pretty good although I met the social worker today who told me, in oh so many words, yea that will change. I have no doubt Im in a honeymoon phase but trying my new mantra of one day at a time (and as previously mentioned, failing miserably). I'm just not that girl. I am future girl. I am planner girl. Especially being #cancergirl. Foot massage woman stopped by my "chair" which is always a bonus.
Chemo-mate today was vomiting something fierce during his treatment. I had to close the curtain to my "pod" so I didn't see it all (of course the pod doesn't have a wall so noises still come through). My heart ached for this older man who was having his back rubbed by his 20 something daughter. I turned to my husband and said "boy this shit gets realer and realer".
Two older women were in my pod of 4. One came with her husband and bff "Jean". I know this because she addressed her by "Jean" every sentence. "Jean, thank you so much for bringing all these meals but I can't eat processed meat. I'm on a strict diet of healthy foods" (not to worry Jean, husband said he would be happy to eat the sausage you made). "Jean, have you seen the new video of granddaughter Charlotte?" "Jean, you will like this story". Ok, so you get that Jean was there with chemo-mate.
I've been up since 330AM. Damned steroid does this to me every week. I blog in my head now which I'm sure doesn't help my insomnia. I read that there are many cancer patients who blog. Totally get this. I do it for therapeutic reasons and never intended anyone to read it. I know others do it to be able to chronicle this stage in their lives and to look back at it and hopefully realize that this was a crappy chapter but how far they have come. That's my end plan and I'm sticking to it.
"It takes no more time to see the good side of life than it takes to see the bad" #buffettknowsall
If I'm being honest I hate the fact of having it fall in my hands during a shampoo and Ive kind of come to terms with the whole hair loss thing. I went to MGH and had an apt to cut it. It was like an episode of goodnight moon as I left my bathroom this morning- goodbye brush- goodbye headband to hold back my hair- good bye hair dryer. Goodbye curling iron that I wont use for a bit.
MGH cancer store rocks. They have everything you need and she was honest when I sat down to have the head shaved. "I would wait". She said. You still have so much hair. It's thinning but apparently Im the only one who can notice and is driven insane by it. Of course DH and my dear friend told me the same that morning but apparently I needed 15 more people to tell me. So I walked out of there with some bras to hold the fake breast in place and kept my hair (which ironically is in desperate need of a cut but I feel that's counter productive right now)
Long chemo was yesterday (which really isn't that much longer with the extra med). I'm feeling pretty good although I met the social worker today who told me, in oh so many words, yea that will change. I have no doubt Im in a honeymoon phase but trying my new mantra of one day at a time (and as previously mentioned, failing miserably). I'm just not that girl. I am future girl. I am planner girl. Especially being #cancergirl. Foot massage woman stopped by my "chair" which is always a bonus.
Chemo-mate today was vomiting something fierce during his treatment. I had to close the curtain to my "pod" so I didn't see it all (of course the pod doesn't have a wall so noises still come through). My heart ached for this older man who was having his back rubbed by his 20 something daughter. I turned to my husband and said "boy this shit gets realer and realer".
Two older women were in my pod of 4. One came with her husband and bff "Jean". I know this because she addressed her by "Jean" every sentence. "Jean, thank you so much for bringing all these meals but I can't eat processed meat. I'm on a strict diet of healthy foods" (not to worry Jean, husband said he would be happy to eat the sausage you made). "Jean, have you seen the new video of granddaughter Charlotte?" "Jean, you will like this story". Ok, so you get that Jean was there with chemo-mate.
I've been up since 330AM. Damned steroid does this to me every week. I blog in my head now which I'm sure doesn't help my insomnia. I read that there are many cancer patients who blog. Totally get this. I do it for therapeutic reasons and never intended anyone to read it. I know others do it to be able to chronicle this stage in their lives and to look back at it and hopefully realize that this was a crappy chapter but how far they have come. That's my end plan and I'm sticking to it.
"It takes no more time to see the good side of life than it takes to see the bad" #buffettknowsall
While I'm sure you're doing this for your own therapeutic reasons, I'm reading every word. And with each sentence you write, my admiration for your grows deeper and deeper. Wow - do we all have a lot to learn from you!!! Thank you for sharing your story
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