"It's only hair"
Things you should never say to someone going thru chemo.
Your hair is showing the world you are still healthy you. You can hide the fact you're breaking inside. You are terrified half the time and sick and sad but you can still fake this. The second your hair is gone you are exposed. The mask is lifted.
The woman you pass in the parking lot, the cashier at the market, the parent at your kids school.. they now all know and are looking at you differently. No malice- just different. Curious. Sadness. Pity.
I (my husband) shaved my head and for the first time since diagnosed I felt in control of something. Almost liberated.
Losing strand by strand was causing me so much anxiety. I was tired of cleaning my shower drain and using a lint brush on my clothes. The bit by bit was a daily stab - you have cancer and you can't do anything about it. Each day you will suffer through this. I was torn to hold on to what hair I had and just let it fall out naturally or do it on my own terms.
I don't have control of my cancer but i can control how I handle things. I chose to go head on because I was crying each morning watching it thin. I was tired of trying to convince myself I still looked "normal".
I thought there would be tears. I was convinced DH would have to pick me up after having an anxiety attack on my bathroom floor.
But instead- I actually smiled. Youngest cut off my pony tail and watched as my locks fell onto the floor. He was as encouraging as any 11 year old boy could be "its actually not that bad ". He may have well told me I'm still me- I'm still mom. I know it's what he meant.
So I feel a bit like a much grayer Jamie Lee Curtis but I did it.
Do I love it? Not in the least. Wearing a scarf and combing out a wig is not exactly the same as playing dress up.
I have cancer and I can't deny it. So I choose to face it head on.
"It's only hair"?? No people...it is SO much more than that.
Things you should never say to someone going thru chemo.
Your hair is showing the world you are still healthy you. You can hide the fact you're breaking inside. You are terrified half the time and sick and sad but you can still fake this. The second your hair is gone you are exposed. The mask is lifted.
The woman you pass in the parking lot, the cashier at the market, the parent at your kids school.. they now all know and are looking at you differently. No malice- just different. Curious. Sadness. Pity.
I (my husband) shaved my head and for the first time since diagnosed I felt in control of something. Almost liberated.
Losing strand by strand was causing me so much anxiety. I was tired of cleaning my shower drain and using a lint brush on my clothes. The bit by bit was a daily stab - you have cancer and you can't do anything about it. Each day you will suffer through this. I was torn to hold on to what hair I had and just let it fall out naturally or do it on my own terms.
I don't have control of my cancer but i can control how I handle things. I chose to go head on because I was crying each morning watching it thin. I was tired of trying to convince myself I still looked "normal".
I thought there would be tears. I was convinced DH would have to pick me up after having an anxiety attack on my bathroom floor.
But instead- I actually smiled. Youngest cut off my pony tail and watched as my locks fell onto the floor. He was as encouraging as any 11 year old boy could be "its actually not that bad ". He may have well told me I'm still me- I'm still mom. I know it's what he meant.
So I feel a bit like a much grayer Jamie Lee Curtis but I did it.
Do I love it? Not in the least. Wearing a scarf and combing out a wig is not exactly the same as playing dress up.
I have cancer and I can't deny it. So I choose to face it head on.
"It's only hair"?? No people...it is SO much more than that.
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