See you in six months..

Oldest had a pulmonary follow up apt today with his wonderful pulmonologist, Larry Rhein. Larry is just one of the few amazing physicians who has seen my oldest thrive medically. Although I adore seeing him, I thank the lord we only have to make the trek into Children's a few times a year now. The days of daily/nightly visits into Boston are a thing of the past and Im thankful for many reasons. The main reason, naturally, is our son is at home with us and no longer do we need to go "visit" him. Secondly, he is trach-less. No apparatus attached to him to schlep around. Thirdly, schlepping into Children's Hospital in Boston is, simply put, a pain in my ASS!
Today was his six month follow up. Mind you, I was there two days ago with him for an audiology test. Nonetheless, we go in today, in the pouring rain. I pick oldest up early from school and it takes us exaclty 45 minutes to pull up to the Valet Service. I always valet because it's just much easier than maneuvering their parking garage and it's practically the same cost. Did I mention it's pouring rain and everyone else who has appointments today decide to valet also? So we are late which really is not a big deal because the adored Dr Rhein is also running a tad behind. Again, we love him, we dont complain. My son gets his vital signs taken and his oxygen level is at 99%. For you and I, we would most likely always be at 99 or 100%. This is my 4 1/2 year old who, if I need remind you, spent 19 months of his life on a vent and with a tracheostomy. His highest oxygen level used to be 95 and that was on his best day. I beam at the numbers and think at how far he has come all the time while I hear in the next room a Mother suctioning her child's trach. The sound of the suction machine turning on gives me hives at the first sound of it. It brought me back to a day when oldest wasn't reading 99% and a day where each day was...much tougher than today's schlepping into Boston.
We wait to be seen and are then greeted by Dr. Rhein who, as always, reminds me how blessed we are by telling my son and I how amazing he looks and how great his lungs sound.
I proceed to wait in the lobby for another 20 minutes while valet gets our car and am surrounded by children, sick children. Some just in there for a quick outpatient appointment. Some on crutches or with casts. Some being pushed by parents in a wheelchair. And then, there are others. Sick children. Some attached to IV poles being pushed by nurses, some having parents look at them....with that look. That tired look. The tired look that only a parent of a sick child could recognize. The tired look of coming to Children's Hospital..yet again.
My car pulls up and we weather the storm, we buckle in, and I drive off. No trach, no suction machine, no oxygen, no apparatus...just my son and I.
My days are tough. I dont lie about that. There are days his lack of eating just tears at my heart and psyche. There are days Im tired of driving off to speech therapy. Days I wish Jared could just be playing soccer outside like his "typical" peers. But today, Im reminded, how fortunate I really am. How far oldest has come.
I look at Children's, the place we used to call home, and I drive away.
See you in six months..