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2 more days

2 days till the mastectomy. I still haven't been able to read the entire book of "Why I wore lipstick to my mastectomy". She's pretty graphic so when I started to read it only a few days after my diagnoses, I cried through many of the chapters. Dear Husband suggested I put it down and stop reading but for a while, I couldn't. I gravitated towards it turning each page to see if I could compare myself to her. I finally stored it inside of my night table and will pick it up again sometime after I'm feeling better. Yet, it still calls me...I wonder how her post op was?
I'm feeling okay. Mentally, physically (well take that back. I'm having sleepless nights, back pain and womanly things going on) but mentally..still in check.
BFF sent me an amazing care package filled with thoughtful items like pjs that button down the front (since I cant lift my hands up over my head for quite a while), a gift card to Blockbusters and Bertuccis (nothing like chick flick videos and take out dinners to help you recover quicker)and my favorite gift of all...the stuffed lion. The minute I saw it I burst into tears as lion is draped in a pink ribbon around his neck with the word "courage" on it. I think I was hyperventilating by the time I got to read her card. True, it doesn't take much to make me cry these days; or for that matter, any day, but this hit close to home for me and I love it. It will sit with me during my recovery and remind me that I can do this. I can remain strong and get on with my life just as I have always planned to do. My boobs do not define me and I will be the same person..minus one.

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