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40+

So far being 40 hasn't been all that fun
I dreaded turning 30. I think I cried for a week to my Mother. We spent the dreaded day at a day spa getting massages and facials--me trying to forget I was 30 and still single (the horror!) I had friends who were married or in serious relationships and I had not found "the one". My mother reminded me over and over that it wasn't "when, but who". I didn't buy it. I was 30 and I felt doomed.
At 32 I got married. Life; although challenging at the time, was better. I had someone to share it with. I no longer felt that I would die a spinster so I figured how bad could 40 be?
I embraced it. After all, magazines and TV ads kept reassuring me that "40 was the new 30". I felt young and not so bad about myself. Sure I was 10lbs heavier and a little greyer than I used to be. Nothing a little discipline and a $200 trip to the hair salon couldn't fix.
I was happily married, a roof over my head, and a cat who still loved me even though my affection for her was replaced by my two boys.
40 came and went. I reminded Dear Husband that if we weren't spending it somewhere tropical that I may seek a divorce.
We spent 3 great days in the Bahamas.

40 came and both my children were diagnosed with severe food allergies. SEVERE. Oldest with eggs (along with peanuts and tree nuts ) Youngest with the same and strawberries to boot. Both with numbers so high from a RAST test that our allergist said it is unlikely they would outgrow them (the eggs and peanut ones)
Youngest got burned by hot tea...a sight I will never get out of my head.
He also broke his foot the day before his adenoidectomy.
No major issues..just a lot of little somethings.
And then I turned 41.
And I got Breast Cancer.

A disease that has all consumed my every moment (okay, not my every but a good chunk of it) for almost 4 weeks now. A disease that I know I will conquer yet cant help but focus on the repercussions (the future of my fake boob)
I cant help but read stories of young women like me who did not survive.
I have read 3 books already about women who have gone through the disease and had it way worse off than me.
I am a sponge and cannot absorb enough information on it.
Even when I cry as I read..I do not put the book down.

So no, 40+ hasn't been all fun and games just yet.
I already look forward to 42.

New boob and all

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